- I feel like people should stop telling me to clean up my language on my blog. I mean, if I haven’t done it by now, what are the chances I’m ever gonna fucking do it?
- Speaking of language, Georgie is using some really innovative variations of it. She calls her pajamas her “bananas.” She inserts the article “a” in strange places: “Look at A me,” or, when you ask her how old she is, “A two.” And sometimes, “Go A nigh-nigh.” So that’s not adorable, at all.
- Do you guys ever listen to NPR on the topic of America? I did today. By the end of the show I came away with three facts: 1. Climate change is coming and we all shall die an Armageddon-like death; 2. The economy is in a state that makes it virtually impossible to address climate change, and therefore we will all soon die an Armageddon-like death; and 3. My best move is probably to build a home out of hay bales and solar panels, in Denmark, and invest in some sort of arsenal to defend my family from the upcoming apocalypse.
- I realize these things may be true, but they’re scary. Why can’t I just live with my head buried so deep in the sand I’m just SURE we’ve got nothing to worry about? Because that doesn’t help, Janelle.
- Since I haven’t written this list thing in 2 weeks, I have to tell you about what we did 2 weekends ago. We went to this place in the Sierra foothills called “Apple Hill.” We went there to hang out and get apples. Imagine that. Anyway, we were there for about 10 minutes when it started hailing, then snowing. It was like FREEZING. Ava was in flip-flops. Whatever. She’s ten – not my problem if she makes stupid decisions and her toes freeze off.
- No really. I’m serious. I am a firm believer in letting kids experience the consequences of their own decisions, particularly when it’s a kid capable of saying things like “Do you know what my teacher did today? She used a malapropism! She said ‘pitcher’ for ‘picture.’” You know what a malapropism is but you can’t figure out how to wear weather-appropriate footwear? I don’t think I can help you.
- Anyway, so we get there and it snows and the kids start flipping out and playing in it, and we drink hot apple cider and have a snow-ball fight. Then, the yuppies from the San Francisco Bay Area started trying to drive their BMWs up the hill, slipping all over the fucking place, until one of them crashes into a tree and my badass husband had to help them out.
- That was Sunday two weeks ago. After that I had a week of hell. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to actually graduate. I’ll just have 99% of a Master’s Degree, but not the actual thing. Won’t that be swell?
- Oh, and a goat was born at the ranch. Have you ever seen a baby goat?! They’re stunningly adorable. Obviously, they brought it in the house.
- If I told Tyler Durden how much I like the iPhone I recently purchased, he’d probably say “You are not your fucking iPhone.” But then I’d have to respond, “Right, I can see how you might think that…but have you ever actually had an iPhone?”
- But this past Saturday we had Ava’s Harry Potter birthday party. She turns 11 next week. I’ll get all weepy about that later. I need to tell you about this party first. So the little girl started planning this thing at least 6 months ago. Not kidding. She had it all figured out, down to the FOOD. Everybody who came had a character. She planned the “classes” we would teach. My husband whittled each girl her own wand. My mom and I made a “sorting hat.” We provided them all capes and pins based on the results of the sorting hat (Gryffindor or Ravensclaw!). Mac was Snape; my mom was Professor Trelawney; I was Professor McGonagall. We were all dressed up. I did the sorting hat. My mother the “divinations” class. My sister-in-law was the dude at the store who gives out wands. And Mac was a VERY MEAN Professor Snape, who the kids just couldn’t get enough of. My mother-in-law made all the food (and I mean ALL of it).
It was an amazing party. Ava said it was the perfect Harry Potter party and it was everything she had hoped for.
I felt like telling her she was everything I’ve ever hoped for, my little Hermione Granger
Have a great week, all.