1. I hate Royal Weddings.
2. I wish I were Kate Middleton.
3. If I were Kate Middleton, I would not hate Royal Weddings anymore.
4. I shall never overcome this cold. I will die with this cold. I will have a raspy voice and sore throat and body aches, snot, coughs and general malaise until the end of my human existence.
5. I am not overly dramatic. I am reasonable and mature.
6. Speaking of drama, I made my kids watch MacGyver today on Netflix. They didn’t think it was funny. Or cool. Actually neither did I, but the whole thing made me feel slightly nostalgic. I searched for Knight Rider but they didn’t have it. One can only hope.
7. We taught Georgia the sign for “milk,” which is more the sign for “nurse” in her case. Now she cruises around the house, sits in her high chair, does pretty much everything while making the sign for milk with one hand…looking at me like “dude. I’m making the sign. Where’s the damn boob?”
8. Scrabble on my Blackberry has a frighteningly limited vocabulary. And shaky ethics. I mean the thing just lies. For example it told me “pothead” isn’t a word. Oh hell yeah it is Scrabble. It also said that “ergo” is a no-go…dude. It’s a baby carrier. Everybody’s got one. And what about “texting” (that would have been like 60 points)… get your head outta your ass, Scrabble. Get with the damn program.
9. Speaking of getting with the program, gluten-free is the new black.
10. I folded an entire basket of “clean” laundry despite the fact that I knew a good portion of the items were not clean at all, but rather deposited there by somebody (who is definitely not me) hastily undressing and chucking her clothes around the room. (I folded the dirties because I am too lazy to rewash them and because I think (as odd as this sounds) that since they were near the clean clothes (in fact surrounded by clean clothes), they probably became at least slightly cleaner due to osmosis or some other complex phenomenon and therefore deserve placement in my drawer.)
11. No really. The whole laundry folding thing is true.