What I learned this week…
- You can take two 24-hour Zyrtec at the same time and not die. Eight hours later, you can add one Claritin-D to the mix and you still won’t die. You can then add nasal spray, asthma medicine, and eye drops (twice the suggested amount) to your system…and you still won’t die.
- When you’ve taken the aforementioned medicines and your allergies continue to mock you, virtually unchanged, shoving feathers doused in acid up your nose, scratching your eyes with razor glass claws, laughing at your silly attempt to overcome their assault, you will edge closer to a distinct desire to kick the proverbial bucket, but you won’t. Instead, you will go to bed with wet cloths over your eyes and bitch about it later, on your blog.
- After careful consideration I’ve decided that “You are not your fucking khakis” is the best line of any movie ever, followed closely by “The Dude abides.” I would like to hear what you people think about this.
- Yesterday I Googled “how to make polenta.” I believe that officially makes me a domestic catastrophe.
- My kids always beat Mac and I at Monopoly. It’s actually kind of irritating.
- In other news, we got a puppy.
- Yes, a puppy. Like not house trained, not leash trained, not ANY trained. A gorgeous, mutt, 8-week old puppy.
- Obviously, I enjoy pain.
- In addition to the whole pain thing, we got a puppy because our dog needs a companion. He gets lonely during the day. And our kids have been DYING for a dog that doesn’t just lay there and sleep, or (when he’s all riled up) lazily follow me everywhere I go, ignoring all else and settling ultimately at my feet (I don’t know. The freaking dog loves me). But mainly, we got a puppy because I felt in my gut that there’s a certain boy in this house who needs a cute, fluffy, real thing to play with, to love, to take care of.
- And I was right. Rocket takes the responsibility very seriously. In fact I’ve never seen him so responsive and quick with tasks. He and “Pete” (the puppy) are inseparable. He plays with that little dog for 2 hours at a time, running, rolling on the ground, jumping around the backyard – smiles and laughter of pure joy – honestly it’s something out of a Lifetime movie. Only it doesn’t make me gag. Because it’s real.
Here’s to not gagging at real-life Hallmark moments. Have a good week, my friends.