What I learned this week…laundry, FaceStalk, laundry.

by renegademama


  1. It is possible to do laundry, one load after another, from 9am to 5pm and still not wash everything in the hallway.
  2. It is possible to walk away from the pile in the hallway and never look back. And by “never” of course I mean “until the next day when you realize nobody else is going to fucking do it and you begin again, only more pissed off.”
  3. For 11 years, the husband and I have been entertaining ourselves on occasion by going to the mall, Target, thrift stores, or, in this particular case, Walmart, and walking around looking at crap, talking shit about people, flirting, and buying shit we don’t need. I loved it when I was 21 and I love it now.
  4. I guess #3 is proof that everything on the periphery can change while a few core items stay untouched, undiminished, unaffected.
  5. I mentioned this on FaceStalk, so some of you already know what I’m about to say, but I’m going to mention it again, because it’s really special: yesterday, my husband unloaded an entire load of dirty dishes out of the dishwasher. It wasn’t really that big of a deal, though, since he PUT THEM AWAY IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES I could easily locate them. When things like this happen, I hold onto #3 & #4 as incentive not to kill him. Well, that, and the fact that I don’t really want to go to prison. I’d totally miss my kids. Although, I think people do your laundry for you AND your dishes. Hmmmmm.
  6. Having a baby that crawls is a lot of work. I forgot how much work. I want the stationary version back. No I don’t. I’m proud of her. But DAMN she goes everywhere at an alarmingly rapid pace and eats everything, including, but not limited to: dog food, sticks, rocks, dirt, leaves, grass, bark, Legos, and lint. It’s nonstop. I’m too lazy for this shit.
  7. On Wednesday morning we’re leaving for a camping trip way north in the coastal redwoods, almost to Oregon. When I’m in places like that I feel calm and peaceful and full inside, like there’s nothing lacking and nothing dissatisfied. Someday I need to move there, or, perhaps someday I’ll feel like that right here, at home. Amidst all the chaos and cars and concrete and children and rushing.
  8. Right. That’ll be the same day I wake up and realize I’m Mother Teresa.
  9. Yesterday my son painted a tea set and built a “home” (out of kitchen chairs and blankets) for himself and his two “babies”…he told me this: “My daughter always goes right to sleep. But my son, he never goes to sleep. He gets a little cold and scared, so he comes into bed with me. And we stay warm together and share blankets.” When I told this to Mac we realized he was talking about himself. The way he comes into bed with us each night. I want to hold that innocence in my hand forever.
  10. My husband has turned into a full-blown Further addict. And it happened so quickly. He bought tickets to BOTH upcoming shows. My parents are even coming (hell yeah!). We may not be able to eat that month, due to the expense, but he appears unwavering on this particular topic.
  11. And…the results of the “domestically impaired” non-Cosmo quiz…as you probably expected, we’re pretty much all hanging out on levels 3 & 4…definitively impaired domestically. HOWEVER, much to my surprise, there were a few (okay like 2) domestic goddesses out there…to whom I’d like to  give a special shout-out, for sticking around and reading this crap anyway, even though you’re obviously WAY beyond me when it comes to running a household…which isn’t actually saying much. But still, well done.

This week was so much better than last week. And the next one? Lookin’ up even more. Have a great one people. Know that you’re all my sparkle face cuddle bundles.

P.S. Did you like the whole ‘FaceStalk’ thing? yeah, i did too. Thought I came up with it on my own. And I did (I mean I hadn’t heard it before I said it), but of course somebody else said it first (I know that because I Googled it and it was in the Urban Dictionary). Damnit. There really is no original thought. Fuck.

9 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | June 12, 2011
  • Another Suburban Mom

    I hear you about the laundry. I always love the moment where everything except what people are currently wearing is clean. Too bad that lasts for about 5 minutes

  • Amanda M.

    That is too funny because I completely feel you on almost all levels. Hope your next week is great!

  • Janine K.

    Ok, so what does it make me if I never got the chance to take the quiz :p do you have a category for that… I tried on my phone while I was pumping, but it wouldn’t work… then I forgot because my life is crazy! I don’t know if you’ve seen the documentary, Babies, but it made me feel a lot better about my level of parenting (specifically when it comes to crawling and what they get into)… If those kids can survive, so can ours!

  • sparkle face

    Todd and I used to go to the mall, order a pretzel and lemonade, and sit in the food court and talk shit about everyone. And then we had kids. And we tried to introduce them to the glorious world of salty and sweet shit talk, but all they did was bitch about how they wanted to go on the carousel.

  • Michelle

    I just saw a documentary on finding the northern most redwood…amazing! I can see why it is a happy place for you. As for the laundry, I ran my well dry doing laundry last week. There is a 2000 dollar reason to call it quits for the day. 🙁 Hate stupid wells and stupid laundry!!

  • Ross

    Whats “Further”? Our parents are going? I want to go…I will feel more full living near my family oh and the trees in Paradise will help as well. Love you my Renegade Sister! Miss you see you next week!

  • Melissa M.

    Love it! I hate the whole laundry thing. Luckily my kids are starting to show interest in it. I am hoping to pass that torch soon. Lol.

    Keep up the great work. And I hope you have an amazing week! 🙂

  • Jennifer


    My mother-in-law used to come over and do all our laundry and fold it perfectly. She said she “missed it.” Then she got into her 250th car accident and had to get some fingers amputated. Dammit. Now I do all my own laundry. It sucks.

  • Kendra

    #9: I love him! Your son reminds me SO much of my son…