- On Tuesday, I participated in a school event for my daughter which involved me dressing up in 1840s garb and pretending I’m a beaver trapper. Yes, a beaver trapper.
- When I told my husband about these responsibilities, he responded with a smirk, “I can help. I’ve been trying to ‘trap beaver’ my whole life.” Niiiiiiice.
- Our class runneth over. Speaking of class, I’m still throwing baseballs at bluejays, naked. The bird has now become my nemesis. I’m like what’s his face in that one movie. Was that helpful? You know, the gopher guy. Caddyshack! Bill Murray in Caddyshack. This week I will be taking the suggestions you all offered to see if I can eliminate the bastard. Don’t worry. I’ll keep you posted.
- On Friday my lower back decided it would explode or something. Whatever it did, I was in some of the most crippling pain I’ve felt in years, which is how long it’s been since the last time my lower back exploded. It pinched some nerve (sciatica?) that runs down my left leg and another one that runs across my left hip. PEOPLE I WANTED TO DIE. I’m still in a lot of pain but it’s not like before. Dude I should totally tell you the story of the first time my sciatica flared up like this. It was like 14 years ago, and I’ll give you a hint of how it went down: I woke up on the floor of some house with people I didn’t know and I couldn’t walk. So I just laid there and waited for my best friend who was supposed to be there but wasn’t. The weirdest part was that this house was such a party crash pad, nobody even noticed (or cared) that there was some chick fully awake lying immobile on her back in the middle of the dining room floor. Good times.
- I probably shouldn’t tell stories like that on the internet. Oh well.
- And of course, this is the weekend we planned to go to Santa Cruz for a blues festival/beach trip. So Friday afternoon I went to the chiropractor, got a massage, iced the hell out of it, did stretches and hoped for the best. It didn’t go very well. I think my family had fun but I was pretty miserable the whole time.
- I was going to have my husband go without me but I feared he may let my kids drown in the ocean. He has a small focus problem. You know, like he can’t do it.
- The good news is we spent today at this little beach town called Capitola and it was by far the most exquisite weather I’ve ever seen there. Sunny, warm, clear. Northern California, you have my heart. Even though I was lying immobile on my back getting a raccoon sunburn, I was struck by the beauty of it all.
- By the way, what the hell is a “push present?” I don’t know what it is but I know I hate it. The name alone makes me slightly ill. Waaaay too cute.
- You know what is not too cute, though it might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life?
This. All three kids got in bed together and Ava made Georgia’s wrinkle-nose grin, and Rocket pretended he was asleep.