I can’t believe how long it’s been since we’ve had a wtf? Wednesday, in which we celebrate the cute, slightly alarming things the kids say.  My bad.

Anyhoo, here we go…

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Looking at a full moon recently, Rocket says “the dark spots are big holes. I know that because my teachers taught me.” And we all go wild in encouragement, telling him how smart that is, etc., and he responds “Yeah. I don’t just  think about poop all the time.”

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So I was doing what I thought was a riveting rendition of “Girls just wanna have fun” while folding a pile of laundry larger than a Prius (appreciating the sweet irony of the moment) and Ava looks at me with disdain, with that “you’re such an idiot” face…and she says, kind of under her breath but clearly audible “I really hope daddy’s genes are stronger than yours.”

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Rocket: “Mama, if I counted every day for the rest of my life, how long would it take me to reach infinity?”

Me: “you can’t reach infinity. Infinity never ends. It goes on forever and ever and ever.”

Rocket, walking off: “Oh. Kinda like God.”

[I include the God comments because they trip me out, because they come out of nowhere…as if they know something I don’t.]

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At a stoplight, Ava says “Mama, I just gave that lady in the car next to us my ‘dragon face.’ The way I do it is I flare my nostrils and make a chipmunk mouth, and I think I look a little like a rabbid squirrel.”

I respond “That’s nice. I bet she appreciated that.”

And Ava says “Yeah, I know I would.”

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And here is the granddaddy WTF? moment…

As Rocket, Georgia and I are lying in bed together, I can see that Rocket may be getting  kicked, so I ask “Rocket, is Georgia kicking you?”
And he answers, laughing, “Yes, she’s kicking me right in my bald spot!” And since our heads are all together, I deduce that there’s no way Georgia’s feet are kicking him in the head, so I ask “Oh, where’s your ‘bald spot?’ And he points to his groin.

I don’t even ask.