- Do not buy day-of-the-week underwear for your slightly OCD, perfectionist third grader, or your mornings will be become even more complicated.
- Carrot and/or chip eating should not be allowed in public places, especially in places of work, when nobody’s allowed to leave. Just too many chompers.
- I have “listening to people eat” issues. Crunching, smacking, chewing with mouths open. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. I want to break people. My children will have excellent manners, because I
can’t fucking stand the alternativereally want them to grow up with some damn class. Oh wait. That’s pretty much as bad as the one I crossed out. Oh well. - Consuming a beverage without caffeine is a damn waste of time. Except for water. Water has value.
- Apparently non-rich people should not have pets.
- The puppy I wrote about joyfully just last week is now very, very, very sick in our backyard, and we have done all that we can to help him. And we are hoping he does not die.
- And my kids had a total of 2 days playing with this fluffy puppy, and then he withdrew. And then he stopped eating and drinking and started vomiting and staggering and dehydrating. And when the first, “most-likely” assessments came back clear, the vet told me it would be $2,500 to figure out what was wrong with this pup (and obviously, of course, there are no guarantees of recovery).
- And I got to sit in her patient room and tell her that I just don’t have $2,500 and could she please help me by treating him for what she thinks, inventing a treatment plan within the range of viable for us, doing SOMETHING. To help him get well.
- And I told my son that his puppy is very very sick and he looked at me with eyes that said “why?” He asked me “how sick? mama, how sick? mama?” So I told him Pete might die but I didn’t tell him that the dog’s chances would improve if mama and daddy had more goddam money to throw around. I didn’t tell him that. Because it would be ridiculous in his 5-year-old mind. Why would it take money to cure a puppy? And why, more importantly, don’t we have it?
- So there’s a side of me that is just raging. Fucking pissed. Pissed that this puppy got sick. Pissed that I can’t afford to help him better. Pissed because sometimes you are just SURE you’re doing something right and good – a kharmic no-brainer – and yet, the universe has other plans. And the something good backfires. And you find yourself cradling a sick puppy with vacant eyes in an emergency vet clinic at 2am, muttering “I can’t afford that” to a doctor looking at you like “then why the hell do you have a dog?” Thinking to yourself in response to her unsaid question “well, I have it for my little boy.” And now the fucking whatever is going to to take it from my little boy.
- Pissed that Rocket loses again when it comes to cute, fluffy things.
Please send us healthy puppy thoughts.
Oh, right, and if, on the off chance this puppy doesn’t kick the bucket, I’m going to poll dance in my front yard, wearing an American flag bikini . As a form of celebration. Y’all are totally invited.
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Christina
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 10:43Oh Puppy, I am so sorry. I hope he gets better on his own. Damn money. I hate it!
Oh and BTW I have the same strange irrational aversion to people’s eating noises. Chew with your mouth closed and dont bring a bag of chips to watch a movie at the quite part. Gerr!
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 21:59It is irrational! It totally is. And YET, like most of my irrational traits, I can’t do a damn thing to change it. I just gotta live with it. And so does my family. Ha.Ha.Ha.
Poor them.
Shan
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 11:57I hate doctors who don’t understand that we don’t all make what they make… or that their earnings come from us all the same. Bastards.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 9:40Yeah, the vet we saw at the all-night clinic left something to be desired for sure. It was like as soon as she heard we weren’t going with her $2,000 treatment plan, she suddenly lost interest in us. She just kind of threw a couple things our way. It was horrible.
Luckily, though, my friend is a vet and she let us come to her clinic and my God was there a difference! She is obviously a REAL doctor and lover of animals – she took time with Pete and me, and really thought about how to help him…came up with an approach that I actually feel may work.
It’s refreshing to know that there are some amazing doctors out there doing amazing things.
Shan
Wednesday, 25 May, 2011 at 19:53Thank goodness for friends of people and animals.
Lisa
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 14:16Oh my God I am so sorry puppy. Any chance it is Parvo? They probably checked for that. We had a small dog with Parvo years ago and she dehydrated quickly and withdrew from all of us, ate a hole in the fence and went into the neighbor’s yard to die, but a 2-day stint of fluids and IV nutrition eventually brought her around enough she was able to survive. Well no matter what it is, I am sorry. I hate the whatever that takes love from us. And yes I know IV nutrition and vet care is expensive and if you don’t have it, you don’t have it. Bills gotta get paid. If there’s no house to live in, there’s no place for the puppy or the kids. Life sucks. Well I’m off to have a drink since the baby’s sleeping. Good luck dear.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 9:37Dude! Have one for me. Word.
Dorothy
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 14:54I am so so so sorry about your puppy. I can’t even imagine explaining that to a child. They should just help him because he’s a PUPPY and needs help. FOR FREE.
And the only person who bothers me with their chewing is my husband. Sometime I want to stab him with my fork.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 9:41Yes, it hasn’t been fun explaining this whole thing to them. Although, having grown up partly on their grandparents’ working ranch, they are very aware of animals and pets dying. As much as that sucks, it’s true.
christal
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 15:11I’m so sorry about the puppy
but I totally understand about not affording the INSANE vet bills. We have 2 dogs and if (God-forbid) anything happens to them, we’ll have to try our best to heal them at home because there’s no way we could afford major surgeries. We have a lab mix who likes to eat gravel and so far she’s been able to thow up the rocks, but if a day comes when she’ll need surgery to get out the rocks, we probably won’t be able to do it. So I’ll pray for your little puppy to pull through on his own.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 9:42Dogs. Eating gravel. Dumbasses.
And yet, it’s exactly what we love them for. Right? Thanks for your kind words.
Rebekah C
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 16:32Omg, there is just nothing like that horrific situation. I have been there and it’s awful. The most important thing is to keep the little guy warm, hydrated and of course, loved.
My mom had a little trick she used when our puppy got sick like that. She said it’s not a cure-all but that it helps give them a little more energy to fight off the sick. She would mix a little water, some honey and an egg up and feed it to the puppy with a spoon or syringe. The idea is to help keep their energy up and get some liquid in them.
This is so hard and I’m so sorry. I hope the little guy pulls through.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 9:36Thanks, Rebekah, if he gets a little better we’ll feed him that concoction for sure — right now, though, we have to put this super high-calorie food on the roof of his mouth and basically force him to eat – poor little guy – the whole thing is excruciating.
Michelle
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 17:10I know you have mentioned in the past that you don’t like doctors in general…I have worked for both human and animal as a secretary and I can tell ya that Vet’s are WORSE. Most judgmental, money hungry assbags I have ever met. I would have to tell owners on a weekly basis that if they could not care for the animal then they would need to surrender it to the vet. Ya I lasted a month before I told her to get fucked.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 9:30Assbags. Good word. I may steal that, for certain special occasions.
It isn’t that I don’t like doctors in general — at all! Shit, they do some serious good for people…and my brother is a doctor…and a doctor saved my life after I had my 3rd baby. It’s the pretentiousness that sometimes goes along with them that I can’t stand. While I think the extreme levels of pretentiousness are unncessesary, I also see the importance of a doctor not second-guessing himself (or herself) — but it’s still irritating as hell. That post I wrote was about one doctor who I encountered who was a total douche – talking down to me, talking shit about nurses. He was a bad example and I have met many docs that don’t act like that.
What a HORRIBLE thing to have to tell people – no wonder you have a bad taste in your mouth for the whole vet thing. Assholes!
Erika
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 18:24I think you should get your OCD 3rd grader day-of-the-week hair clips too.
I hate people and vet clinics with that kind of attitude! They are also the type who think you should be feeding your dogs organic gourmet dog food that costs $10-$20 per pound.
When Bindi was a puppy, she had massive bacterial infections, and we came close to losing her. The flipping Yolo SPCA had her spayed at 6 weeks of age…
She was evacuating from both ends, and it looked the same either way… She was really bad off. We were told that she would likely not live to be 3 months old. We were lucky enough to have had money at the time to look after her, and our vet is very down to earth when it comes to treating pets. If you need a second opinion, and can make it to Vacaville, I would suggest Animal Care Center.
The most important thing is to keep the puppy from being dehydrated. If they would just be willing to put an IV in him, it would go a long way to keeping him going.
When our dogs get sick, we feed them cottage cheese and steamed white rice mixed together. Binidi ate that for about a month when she was a baby. I think we mixed a little chicken broth in with it, but she couldn’t hold anything down, and she would at least try to eat the rice mixture.
Hugs and sending get well puppy thoughts.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 21:53You gave me a lot to think’ about…and you are dead on about the dehydration. vet said that is the main thing with a puppy in this condition. he still won’t eat on his own (we feed him by putting food on the roof of his mouth), but he seems a little better today…
dani
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 18:55I’m sorry.
I’ll just say that I’m hoping for the pole dancing show. I’ll sit in the front row. With popcorn. And lots of singles.
Hang in there.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 9:32Rest assured it will be good.
You know, “good” in that sort of “what the hell is she doing, really wish she’d stop” kinda way.
Janine
Sunday, 22 May, 2011 at 22:00I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. At times our animals have cost us a small fortune and at others we haven’t been able to pay. I’m sure a 2am visit cost you so it’s not like you aren’t doing what you can. Hopefully the little guy pulls through with lots of love and perseverance!
I hate mouth noises of all kinds and I too have wanted to stab my husband with a fork!
I hope this week treats you better <3
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 9:35Oh yeah! We’ve already spent $500 — for the “cheap” version of treatment. Whew.
Jess
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 12:56#2: DEAR GOD, I know. Movie theaters, ten minutes before the previews actually start, when all those people are sitting there just eating. I want to die. I want to punch every single person in the theater in the head, repeatedly.
#4. Also, AMEN.
And the rest: No words except I’m sorry, and I will keep my fingers crossed and my heart hopeful for you guys and Pete. Cause little boys shouldn’t have to say goodbye to anything quite that quickly.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 21:54Oh SHIT. movie theaters. I always sit in front of the assbag (thank you michelle for that one!) who eats like a…um…I don’t know, something that makes a lot of noise, and SLURPS. Ain’t that a good one? the slurping of soda?
Julie
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 16:10How’s the puppy today? We have a dog who actually contracted distemper as a puppy, and she pulled through. Parvo is awful too, they just can’t stay hydrated. I hope the pup recovers.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 21:56Actually, the puppy seems to be doing a little better – he can stand for a minute or so (sadly, that’s improvement). And he holds his head up to drink water. We’re putting fluids under his skin and I think that’s keeping him going. If he can just hold on for a couple more days, the meds will fully kick in and he should make it.
We’re hopin’.
Jennifer
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 20:09This makes me so sad. I’ve been wanting to get a pet for our family for my boys for so long but at this point we couldn’t even afford the dog food let alone medical bills. I’m so sorry — especially for the kiddos. I’ll be sending good vibes your way.
And for #2 – my co-worker used to call it “alone foods”. As in, foods you should eat alone and never in the conference room during a meeting when you are eating baby carrots or chips or have smacking issues where the entire meeting is halted due a certain co-workers nasty eating habits. Or…something like that.
renegademama
Monday, 23 May, 2011 at 21:58That was exactly what I had in mind — meetings at work!!! and it’s amazing how thoroughly unconscious some people are. They will just chomp chomp away on the the loudest, crunchiest food, during meetings – when the rest of the room is silent! Maybe since it just irritates the hell out of me I’ve always been conscious, but I am really sensitive about things like that. If I think I’m making noise while eating, I just won’t eat it! I’ll definitely wait til I’m alone.
Cailin
Thursday, 26 May, 2011 at 21:17Cover your ears Aunt Kathryn…
Even if you had an extra $2500, doesn’t mean you should spend it on a vet bill. I know pets bring a lot of love and happiness to people, but they are not people.