what I learned this week: rain, sundays, and why Mac doesn’t suck

by renegademama
  1. I have a ridiculous and overly dramatic aversion to rain. I hate it. I look at it as some sort of universal deal-breaker: if it exists, I’m not participating. In my life.
  2. Yes, I know rain equals water equals survival of human race, etc., but, like most unpleasant things, I just wish somebody else could handle the annoying parts and I could benefit from their efforts. In other words, can’t it just rain in the foothills?
  3. The Ergo baby carrier has a critical design flaw that I may or may not bring up to the manufacturer: it’s often more convenient to wear my baby on my back, but if I do so, the front belt cuts into my belly, making me look fatter by creating a roll of tummy over the belt. This is no joke. Something should be done.
  4. A few weeks ago Mac and I decided that we were going back to the old days when Sundays were sacred and therefore the only things that happened were church and family time at home. This was a good plan and I love it and I look forward to Sundays now all week, when we all hang out and sew and garden and cook and play games and don’t do chores or shop or have people over. It isn’t just another day any more, it’s a day for us to be a family, unobstructed. And it’s freaking great.
  5. There are many reasons my husband doesn’t suck, but one of them is that he doesn’t want an “open marriage”. Not that I asked him for one. I just happen to have heard about this a lot lately (it’s kinda creepy actually) so I asked him what he thought of such a thing. He was revolted. We actually had to stop talking about it because it was pissing him off just thinking about it. Maybe I’m just unenlightened (and you know I am) but I wouldn’t dig that sort of arrangement. I hear it works for some people, but I believe I would throw myself into a fiery cauldron of sorrow, misery and self-pity if my husband suddenly informed me that he wanted an “open marriage.” Then, when I snapped out it, I’d hunt the bitch down who he was “open-marriaging” with and beat her senseless (well no, I wouldn’t, cause I’m too wimpy for that sort of thing, but I may hire one of those burly chicks from Jerry Springer as a sort of white trash hit woman). Then, when I was done with that, I’d get a divorce. I believe Mac would do about the same, only he wouldn’t hire anybody. For sure the whole thing would be wildly unpleasant for all parties.
  6. My new favorite pastime is to find a recipe, go to the store and buy all the ingredients, return home and put the groceries away. Yes. Correct. That’s it.
  7. It’d be great if my baby would go back to pooping only once a day.
  8. It’d be great if I didn’t talk about pooping so much.
  9. Apparently it takes a really long time to recover from continued sleep deprivation. I’ve been having 7-8 hours of virtually uninterrupted sleep for the last few days (due to Mac’s brilliant middle-of-the-night solution which involves…shhhhh, lean in closely, promise not to tell my attachment parenting friends…him and a bottle of formula). Anyway I thought after 2 nights of that kind of godly sleep I’d spring back to life like a 3-year-old at 5am. But instead I am still exhausted and sleeping more deeply than I ever have in my life. It’s almost like my body is hoarding sleep like a starved person would hoard food, worried that it may go away again. However, the blurring eyes and weird hallucinations have ceased, so things are improving. I’m not fully kidding about the hallucinations.
  10. I got to the bottom of the laundry pile in the hallway and I gotta admit, I kinda miss it.
  11. I should be in church right now, but because it’s raining, I’m not going. I shall spend the day finding recipes I’ll never cook, starting sewing projects I’ll never complete, and inventing ways to get my husband to do more housework. But not today. Because it’s Sunday. Today we play.

the husband who doesn't suck

9 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | March 20, 2011
  • Shan

    #6 Made me laugh out loud long enough that Tom asked me what was so funny. Then I did that stupid can’t-stop-laughing-while-trying-to-talk thing that usually indicates I’m overtired. But he laughed when I was done, so it really was funny.

    #9 I have been recovering for about a week now. I am not joking when I say that I was creeping as close to suicidal as I never wanted to be. And the first night I got sleep? The next day was oddly worse. Getting better though.

    • renegademama

      …creeping close to suicidal. well said. sadly true in my case as well. lack of sleep apparently turns me into more of a whack job than I normally am. scary.

  • Erika

    I like number four. It makes me happy. I would love to do something similar, but I am so lazy/tired the rest of the week that if I don’t get housework done during the weekends, my house will be in even worse shape than it is now (hard to believe as it is).

    Number five is something that I am a little too familiar with. I spent five years of my life in a relationship that was, for all of its window dressing, an open relationship. I had a boyfriend and a girlfriend. They got married October 2009. That is a whole other story…
    It wasn’t until I was given a choice of “yes” or “yes” (meaning say what I want, but she’s going to do it anyway) about my girlfriend seeing (having sex with) her new boyfriend that I realized that it wasn’t the relationship for me. Course, I spent several months trying to talk myself into thinking the problem was me, and not the relationship…
    My boyfriend (same one as when we were in class together) outright told me that I had no right to dispute any relationships with people whom he had met before I started my relationship with him—even if those relationships had been on hold for over a decade. Considering that he was a total corn dog and is 20 years older than I am, it leaves a lot room for non-dispute.
    That woke me up.
    I finally got my head out of my butt and left. Of course, I’m the one with “issues” and something about how no one will ever love me as deeply blah-blah-blah. They “renewed” a 15 year old relationship with an old girlfriend the week after I made my departure final, and yet I am irreplaceable to them. O_o
    But I digress… Open relationships may work for some people, but if anyone tries it again with me, “ugly” will be an understatement, and I will have to get used to an orange jumpsuit as my only wardrobe option, so I understand where #5 is coming from. And I actually took comfort from your reaction to the idea. It gives me hope. Thank you!

    #7 & #8
    I feel the same way. I have four large dogs and a cat. That’s a lot of poop, and I am way too interested in their poop habits. I also have a grandmother who shares information about her daily BMs when I call her. When I say a day has been “poopy,” it may be literal.

    #9 It usually takes me four times as much sleep as I didn’t get to make up for the lost sleep. I don’t know why, but there were times when I just have to make up for lost sleep, and I’ll sleep all day long, wake up to eat and go to the bathroom, and sleep all night. I know when I have gone too long without enough sleep when I start getting paranoid and have sensory hallucinations (example: something crawling on my leg).

    • Erika

      Oh, and on #1…
      I hate the sun, and love rain and fog. The brighter and warmer the day, the more I feel like I’m shriveling into something crusty and brittle.

    • renegademama

      HAHAHAHA – the grandmother BM thing killed me! Thank YOU for that laugh. And thanks for the insight re: the open relationships. I have absolutely no opinion on it in regards to other people – whatever tickles your noodle, as they say… (or wait. nobody says that. whatever)…I just know as I said that it would never work for me and frankly I’m pretty horrified of the the idea. As far as I can tell it defies all logic – if marriage is commitment and an open relationship involves no commitment, how is it a marriage? Why be married? If you want to bang everybody, or more than one person, do it, but why go through the charade of marriage? Plus, I think love involves depth, loyalty and devotion not spreading oneself thin. I believe in fact that that is the opposite of real love.

  • Christina

    Oh we used to do Sundays as family days. But like the previous post, I am so tired during the week that I end up with a weekend worth of cleaning.

    Ok and that whole business about ‘open marriage’, is this happening in real life to real people? I am a little confused as to how someone would invite extra strain into an already tough job. Maybe these people dont have kids because if I had one more reason to argue with my husband (whom I love dearly and think the world of) we might blow each other up. I cannot not imagine how this is a good idea in anyway. Seriously confused.

    My husband wont even watch movies that involve cheating. He has always been like that so I guess there are really no worries there.

  • Mariah

    Okay, so the Ergo thing. Seriously….I tried to wear it on the back last week. LUCKILY, I decided to make the first attempt in the privacy of my own home. I finally got it all settled and comfortable, just to make sure I looked in the mirror. I can’t tell you how disturbed I was at the image looking back at me. I generally feel like I don’t have any body image issues, but with the Ergo on, there were all kinds of rolls where rolls just don’t belong on a persons body. I was chalking it up to user error, but after reading your comment, maybe a design flaw. Either way, not trying that one out in public unless I’m with a friend not afraid to tell me to just take it off slowly and walk away.

    As for number 6, I have some really really great recipes I can share with you. Lots of amazing ingredients to shop for and beautiful colors to really spruce up the look inside the fridge, because I don’t know about you, but the interior design of my fridge has really been neglected lately. The ingredients just look so colorful and happy in there. I keep thinking that one of these days I’m going to wake up to a magicially appearring completed recipe just sitting there waiting to be heated. Maybe all the ingredients sitting there all alone in the fridge will take pity on me for being so tired and sleep deprived and decide to come together and cook themselves. It could happen. It could!

    As for pooping thing…It’s actually embarassing to think about them amount of time spent in our house discussing poop. We have a favorite saying in our house…okay, I take that back, that makes us sound crazy. Not a favorite saying exactly, but we think it’s funny. TV show a few years ago about parenting showed a little boy with brown on his arm. The mom’s friends says, he’s got poop on his arm. The mom looks at it and says, “It’s poop or chocolate.” She then proceeds to licks it, “just chocolate.” So, we say “poop or chocolate” a lot in this house. Luckily for us, it’s usually chocolate. That’s what we tell people anyway!

    • Mariah

      Oh seriously….sleep deprivation does not lead to correct grammar. “It’s actually embarassing to think about THE amount of time.” Not THEM AMOUNT of time. I do know how to write a gramatically correct sentence, but evidentally that requires at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep for several days in a row. So, with a 10 month old, I can count on that happening in about…Oh, I don’t know….18 years, if I’m lucky.

      Love the blog Janelle. Always excited to read your new posts. Keep them coming!!

  • Emily

    This is an old post, but I want to marry your marriage. Fortunately, I feel like that about my own marriage, which is good, since I, uh… already have? Or something? Anyway, I too have an awesome husband who is everything I need (and even most things I want)! But I just absolutely love reading about your husband and family through your eyes. I know you get this a lot, but I wish I lived near you and we could hang out. I guess I just wish I could have more friends (I’ve seriously got like one right now) and that they could be as in-tune with what I’m thinking as you are.