What I learned this week…(and Circle Time Saturday – special Sunday edition)

by Janelle Hanchett

1.       For awhile I was writing a “wtf? Wednesday” post and a “circle time! Saturday” post each week. For various uninteresting reasons, mostly pertaining to my inability to plan and general disdain for structure, this isn’t working for me. I’m going to try writing them in alternating weeks (a Wednesday post one week, then a Saturday, then a Wed., etc.).  Roll with me, I’m new at this.

2.       Turns out I am not going to die from this cold. Who knew.

3.       Also turns out it is possible to have a mosh pit at the concert of a band with a stand-up bass, a fiddle and NO DRUMS.

4.       I hate 18-year-old males, on account of #3.

5.       A large, bearded, pissed-off ironworker is a really quite an intimidating thing. After last night, I am even more delighted than usual that my husband is not a wife-beater. Cause that dude is s.c.a.r.y.  While at a concert last night, some fucktard asshat (oh yeah, he got both) decided to pour his entire beer down Mac’s chest, for no reason. On purpose. The look on Mac’s face – his eyes, his posture – as he hunted this guy down (who had, incidentally, walked off to get another beer) was something like the psycho in Silence of the Lambs mixed with Ed Norton in Fight Club. I thought he might actually kill him. Much to my surprise, though, he went up to the bar where the fuckhead was standing and said to the bartender “don’t let this dirty prick buy another beer. He just poured his last one me.” He had a few choice words with the drunk idiot and in a moment of sweet lovely [rare] justice, the bartender looked at the asshole and said “yeah. You’re cut off. Get the fuck outta here.” And the bouncer kicked him out. Of the entire venue. It was fucking awesome, though we did have to buy Mac another shirt. On the way out to the car, Mac said “it was all I could do not to head-butt that guy.” And I was glad he has that kind of self-restraint, because I KNOW I’ve done much more annoying things than pour beer down his shirt. And I’m pretty sure I do it almost weekly.

Yeah. this sweet face is NOT what was happening last night.

6.       As a result of our concert experiences this weekend (we saw the Devil Makes Three on Friday and Saturday nights), I’m inspired to write two new blog posts. One will be called “What I would write on a bathroom stall were I the type of jackass who writes on bathroom stalls” and “Ode to The Dancers: you know who you are.” Those should be fun.

7.       Like an angry unforgiving pit-bull, I fought the insurance companies (who suddenly and randomly decided they wouldn’t cover Georgia’s home birth)– and this week I found out that I WON. They say winning isn’t everything, but damn it feels good sometimes.

8.       Take that, you lying corporate pricks.

9.       Rocket makes up some of the coolest words I’ve ever heard. Two of his recent ones are: 1. “charge-a-pult” which is when you charge into somebody as hard as you can from across the room (a clever mix of “charging” and “catapulting”); and 2. “karate-mop”, which is when you karate chop somebody with a mop handle.

10.   I love my kids so much it hurts sometimes.

11.   Happy Mother’s Day, friends.

[Milk it for all it’s worth. Cause tomorrow you’ll be back to “family bitch” status. (oh my god that was SO WRONG.). ]

…And for our Saturday circle time! special Sunday edition…here’s a beautiful tune from Chuck Ragan, written for his mother, “Geraldine.”

7 Comments | Posted in Circle Time!, weeks of mayhem | May 8, 2011
  • Kimberly

    Just one thing to say: I’m glad you’re alive, sparkle face. Now go get on the twatter!

  • sherilinr

    i hope to never be the victim of a charge-a-pult of a viscious karate mop. cuz i’m a wimp like that.
    yay for big strong husbands who use self-restraint even when they really don’t want to!

    • renegademama

      This cracked me up. Awesome.The charge a pult can be oddly painful, depending on his speed upon contact. Also, if you’re a dude. bad news. 🙂

  • dani

    It is so refreshing to find another mommy in Blog Land who isn’t all fluffy clouds and rainbows.

    But I’m glad you have sparkles to spare.

    I’m enjoying it all.

    • renegademama

      Yay! I’m so glad to have you hear. I love your blog as well…and it is refreshing, isn’t it? the best part of writing this blog has been “meeting” (via rad comments) the amazing women out there who are just so damn real. it’s freaking great. and yes. sparkles all around. word.

  • Andrea

    With all due respect, your husband is hot:)

  • Nicole

    So I recently discovered your blog after 2 years of parenthood… 2 years of PPD. Of wondering what the fuck is wrong with me… Finally, gratefully, I found a support group. And then I found this. And I just want to say thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my exhausted (confused, sad, happy, and one million other emotions) heart. Your honest and hilarious writing is helping me through a time that a friend of mine could only describe as “whoa, man. Heavy.” I’m going to share your blog with every new mom I know to hopefully A) help her through her heavy time or B) weed out the judgmental bitch moms. Either way it’s a win.