What I learned this week…We’re more patient than we look.

by Janelle Hanchett


  1. My baby is a super talking machine. She says everything. It’s slightly creepy to see a kid that little demand “up” and “out” and “taco.” It’s pretty safe to say she never shuts up.
  2. All I know is she did not get that from me.
  3. We put up Christmas lights yesterday. Usually we’re doing it 5 days before Christmas, in a panic, when it’s raining, because the kids won’t leave us alone about it and the Big Day is approaching. So I was impressed with us.
  4. Then one string kept going out in varying locations, resulting in 3 strands of lights in the trash and FOUR trips to the store in search of extension cords, new strands and other devices we thought might fix the situation. Neither Mac nor I ripped down all the lights or broke the reindeer’s head off in desperate exasperation, which makes me even more impressed with us.
  5. I play Christmas music pretty much constantly from Thanksgiving until New Year’s Day. I do this mostly because it irritates my family. Don’t tell them.
  6. Speaking of Christmas music, can we all just agree that dog-barking and cat-meowing renditions of Christmas carols are fucking lame? Not cute. Not amusing. Annoying.
  7. Not totally unlike the fact that my toddler has an acute fascination with the TOILET. She’s like a wayward cat I tell you. She just digs toilets. Playing in them. Splashing in them. Placing various household items in them. And just to add a little more fun to the scenario, since the 6-year-old has some sort of disorder making it physically impossible for him to FLUSH THE FUCKING TOILET, the toilet water involved is very often not clean. I hate my life.
  8. In other news, you can dunk a Blackberry in the toilet multiple times and it will still work. FYI.
  9. Oh, and Thanksgiving was awesome. We spent it with my brother and his family. It was our first holiday together since he moved back and it was even better than I had imagined. Lucky, lucky me to have loving, wonderful family within driving distance.
  10. Okay. Hallmark moment over. Let’s get back to reality: I don’t care what anybody says, I will not miss the fact that I pretty much never get to go to the bathroom alone. And if they aren’t IN the room with me, they are RIGHT outside the door… “Mama! What are you doing?” Me: “Going to the bathroom.” Them: “Pee or poop?” Me: “Leave me alone.” Peals of laughter. Toddler pounding on door. Banging. Flailing. Toddler wailing until I let her in. Kids straining to see. Me, thinking “There are a lot of things about motherhood I will miss, but I will not miss this.”

Huh. I think I’m going to name this “the toilet post.” Happy almost-December. I love Christmas.

You know what else I love? Train overalls.

7 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | November 27, 2011
  • Kristi

    Oh SHIT! Thanks so much for making me laugh more than I have in several weeks! 7-10 really got me! Oh, and I’m sorry you can’t go to the bathroom in peace, but it won’t last forever, right?

  • Michael Ann Riley

    It’s good to be proud of yourself 😉 Someone has to be!!! We got our lights up to. I say “we” but really it’s my husband and my oldest son who do ALL the work. I have to do the tree lights though. AND the inside decorating.

    Love the photo!

  • The UDG

    Well you’ve solidified it for me: I’m not having kids. I can’t go to the bathroom now without the puppy trying to follow me in. Sometimes I hold it just so I can pee when I go to work, where I know I’ll have privacy.

  • Deb

    Read this post and within an hour, the baby had figured out that if you lift the toilet lid, there is some fun water to splash in. Did I accidentally read out loud? Thanks for the chuckle – and that picture is freakin’ adorable.

  • Cara Lyn

    Dude, i so still own those exact overalls…just for a big person. Awesome sauce.

  • Marisa


  • Janine Kloss

    I’m not even sure where to start 0.o I would freak if Lily got into the toilet… I’m kind if a germ freak and toilets are gross, but I’m afraid she is never going to use one because when she tries to crawl into it I say, yucky, don’t touch! Talk about mixed signals. Anyway, I was lol’ing about your kids harassing you on the toilet… Jeese, give a mama a break! And the blackberry thing… Good to know 😀