Just another week in paradise…

by Janelle Hanchett


  1. So I went to a parent-teacher conference on Friday (oh yeah, I’m THAT good of a mama). While there, I asked the teacher what books she recommends for Ava. When she answered “Shakespeare” I looked at her like maybe she should stop smoking that funny stuff. She notices, responding “Well, she’s reading at a 10th-grade level.” After I picked myself up from the floor, I felt a little proud. I’ll admit it.
  2. Let’s not talk about the fact that perhaps I should have known about that whole reading-level thing, being her mother and all.
  3. On a similar front, when my kids are doing really awesome shit, extended family members on both sides often say “oh, she/he got that from our side”…but what I want to know is, how come when those same kids are bolting through restaurants or screaming at one another in wild abandon, nobody says “oh, she got that from our side.”? Mysteries of the world, I guess.
  4. Can we all just agree that “I have nothing against gay people I just think they shouldn’t have kids” is one of the stupidest fucking statements in the world? That’s probably what they said back in the day of Jim Crow laws: “I have nothing against black people, I just don’t think they should go to school with my kids.” Separate ain’t equal, people.
  5. My 6-year-old son has taken to cooking his own meals. I’m scared, also contemplating fire insurance. He’s just so damn PROUD of himself, though, I don’t have the heart to deter him.
  6. Georgia has taken to removing her diaper when she wakes up from naps and peeing in her crib, standing up. She is also quite proud of herself, though I have no problem deterring her. (If I could only figure out how.)
  7. Ava has taken to coming home every day and talking to us for at least 2 straight hours about the drama circling through the 4th-grade. Guess we’ve entered the “social” stage. Pshht. Can we please go back to the “I’m super interested in what we did at school today and I’m going to tell you all about it” stage?
  8. Do you guys read Kim at Yep, they are all mine and Stephanie over at Momma be Thy Name? If you don’t, you should. I desperately enjoy their blogs.
  9. I turn 33 this month. So much better than when I turned 30. I had like a serious breakdown when I turned 30. Now I just get to flip out about turning 35 in just two short years. Waaaaaaa. It’s not the fear-of-death thing, it’s the “why the hell haven’t I come further than THIS” problem. I guess that’s what I get for drinking whiskey and giggling through my entire 20s, as opposed to making real decisions that actually further one’s life. Oh well, late bloomer I guess. Or just dumb.
  10. I’m so excited that it’s March, which means it’s almost April, which is soooo close to May, when the weather gets warm and the beach becomes a real part of our lives…I love the summer with all my almost-33-year-old heart.

Have a great week, all.

4 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | March 4, 2012
  • Stephanie

    Thank you so much for the shout!

    My son peed “near” the potty for the first time this week. Hey, it’s progress. Right?

  • Molly

    I love your blog! The part about the extended families “claiming” the good behavior but not the bad struck home with me.

  • Marisa

    Hmmm, Duct Tape on the diaper should do it.

  • Travel Spot

    ‘Can we all just agree that “I have nothing against gay people I just think they shouldn’t have kids” is one of the stupidest fucking statements in the world?’


    I saw a sign that said “If you don’t like gay marriage, blame straight people. They’re the ones who keep having gay babies.”