This week…I trapped beaver and went to the beach.

by Janelle Hanchett



  1. On Tuesday, I participated in a school event for my daughter which involved me dressing up in 1840s garb and pretending I’m a beaver trapper. Yes, a beaver trapper.
  2. When I told my husband about these responsibilities, he responded with a smirk, “I can help. I’ve been trying to ‘trap beaver’ my whole life.” Niiiiiiice.
  3. Our class runneth over. Speaking of class, I’m still throwing baseballs at bluejays, naked. The bird has now become my nemesis. I’m like what’s his face in that one movie. Was that helpful? You know, the gopher guy. Caddyshack! Bill Murray in Caddyshack. This week I will be taking the suggestions you all offered to see if I can eliminate the bastard. Don’t worry. I’ll keep you posted.
  4. On Friday my lower back decided it would explode or something. Whatever it did, I was in some of the most crippling pain I’ve felt in years, which is how long it’s been since the last time my lower back exploded. It pinched some nerve (sciatica?) that runs down my left leg and another one that runs across my left hip. PEOPLE I WANTED TO DIE. I’m still in a lot of pain but it’s not like before. Dude I should totally tell you the story of the first time my sciatica flared up like this. It was like 14 years ago, and I’ll give you a hint of how it went down: I woke up on the floor of some house with people I didn’t know and I couldn’t walk. So I just laid there and waited for my best friend who was supposed to be there but wasn’t. The weirdest part was that this house was such a party crash pad, nobody even noticed (or cared) that there was some chick fully awake lying immobile on her back in the middle of the dining room floor. Good times.
  5. I probably shouldn’t tell stories like that on the internet. Oh well.
  6. And of course, this is the weekend we planned to go to Santa Cruz for a blues festival/beach trip. So Friday afternoon I went to the chiropractor, got a massage, iced the hell out of it, did stretches and hoped for the best. It didn’t go very well. I think my family had fun but I was pretty miserable the whole time.
  7. I was going to have my husband go without me but I feared he may let my kids drown in the ocean. He has a small focus problem. You know, like he can’t do it.
  8. The good news is we spent today at this little beach town called Capitola and it was by far the most exquisite weather I’ve ever seen there. Sunny, warm, clear. Northern California, you have my heart. Even though I was lying immobile on my back getting a raccoon sunburn, I was struck by the beauty of it all.
  9. By the way, what the hell is a “push present?” I don’t know what it is but I know I hate it. The name alone makes me slightly ill. Waaaay too cute.
  10. You know what is not too cute, though it might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life?

This. All three kids got in bed together and Ava made Georgia’s wrinkle-nose grin, and Rocket pretended he was asleep.

Worth it.

10 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | May 27, 2012
  • Jenn KD

    Long time reader, first time commenter. I have been hoping you’d write a post on push gifts since I first heard of them a few months ago. I went on a serious rant to a girlfriend about them and decide I was either jealous I hadn’t made that happen for my two or working on my first stand up comedy bit. Not that my social anxieties would ever let me do stand up but that’s beside the point. I left my heart in Santa Cruz over a decade ago. Glad it treated you to some nice temps.

  • Shan

    I instantly went to Naked Gun, “Nice beaver.”

    How is it possible for three kids to be so flipping beautiful?!

  • Momtothree

    “A push present (also known as a “push gift” or “baby bauble”) is a present a new father gives a new mother when she gives birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years.”
    The name is a little, how shall I say, too explicit. Like you get a gift caused you ‘pushed’. Wow, those poor moms who had a cesarean then … What can I say?

    Cute babies, like peas in a pod. Love that photo …

  • Karen

    I love the picture, that is priceless. Hope your back feels better, been there while I was pregnant with twins, popped a disc, then came the kids then came back surgery, pain is gone, a story for the books. Take care and feel better.

  • Sarah

    I’m not typically the type to comment but I have been reading your blog for a while and think it is pretty awesome. Also I might know how to fix your bird problem. You see, before we met, my husband had a similar problem with a blue jay that seemingly wanted to make love to his bedroom window ALL NIGHT LONG. This problem was solved when the hubby got a kind of psychadelic reflective poster of how I guess bluejays see owls. He taped the psychadelic reflective owl up and the bluejay did NOT want a piece of that. As for where you can buy the psychadelic reflective owl poster? I do not know. Maybe a gardening store.

  • kim

    Push presents and baby sprinkles and furbabies are what’s wrong with this country.

    See also: jelly and presh. Because jealous and precious are too hard to spell.

  • Shelly

    “He has a small focus problem. You know, like he can’t do it.”

    I think you just described my husband and every other husband on the planet. LOL

  • Christina

    My “Push Present” for my daughter was a new Nissan Murano. Every man needs to know what this is. =}

  • Paige

    oh man, I totally have the same back issues! to try to ward off the crippling pain I’ll take naproxen (or aleve) when I start to feel sore.

  • Lizaelha

    I recently discovered your blog and read from the beginning, like a good book I couldn’t put down. You have a great sense of humour and there were many times I found myself laughing out loud, as my husband looked at me like I was crazy. You inspired me to start my own blog…still very new, but maybe you will check it out.