what I learned this week…I want to dance naked in the seaweed.

by Janelle Hanchett
  1. I don’t know what happened with that whole naked seaweed thing. Kind of a low point really, but no worries, I’ve got something that’ll totally cheer us up: the best thing to do when somebody flips you off on the road is to smile a big smile and give them a joyful “hang loose” sign. Fucker will FLIP in anger. Sweetest retaliatory moment ever.
  2. We spent the weekend in Santa Cruz, took the kids to the Boardwalk on Saturday. This trip was Ava’s birthday present. Her 9th birthday present. Her 9th birthday that was LAST NOVEMBER. You see? I ain’t jokin’ about that bad mothering thing. Nobody really believes me but I am not lying.
  3. I don’t understand why we don’t live in one of those Northern California coastal towns. Any one will do: Santa Cruz, Capitola, Monterey, Half Moon Bay. I ain’t picky.
  4. Oh right. Because we have no money.
  5. Speaking of no money, Monday was my last day of employment. That’s nice. Sort of. Except I spent all week trying to make up for months and months of house-cleaning neglectfulness and failing miserably. And I spent all week being reminded of why I’m not a SAHM (for those of you who don’t go on parenting chatboards, SAHM = stay-at-home mom).  I’m afraid.
  6. Tomorrow is my first day back at grad school. I’m not afraid. Mainly because the first day always consists of a lame, mindless activity I will never ever understand as long as I live: reading the syllabus with the professor. Do you a see a problem there? We’re in graduate school (ENGLISH graduate school no less) and YET we need to be READ THE SYLLABUS by the professor. Because we can’t do it ourselves? Because analyzing complex theory is within reasonable expectations but comprehending a semester-long schedule? Out of the question people! I must read it TO YOU. And I will go over it and reiterate all the subtle nuances like “plagiarism is bad” and “two tardies equal an absence.” I’m not sure, but I suspect that particular activity is a result of professors spending way too much damn time making that syllabus and, like a small child who can’t wait to show off his latest artistic creation, just can’t stop themselves from sharing the joy of their well-thought-out, carefully planned, eclectic line-up of events. Or, they don’t know what the hell else to do with us on the first day.
  7. At the Boardwalk the Santa Cruz police had a display with a motorcycle kids could climb on. We saw it and excitedly asked Rocket if he wanted to get on it. He looked over, thought about it for maybe 2 seconds and said “nah.” And I realized my little guy is too big for that kinda thing now and my heart kinda fell to my gut and I’m telling you people right now this is not going to go well. My baby boy growing up, exiting his wild abandon, ceasing to run in insane freedom on the beach, caring what people think, sensing his separateness, restraining his boyish mania. I can’t take it friends. This is clearly another blog post.
  8. Okay I’m not over the syllabus thing. The weirdest thing is that most of the class seems RIVETED by the whole “let’s read the syllabus together” activity, which of course places me in my usual position of “what the hell are you people thinking?” and “Am I the only one who thinks this shit is ridiculous?”
  9. Come to think of it, that’s how I go through most of my life. I know now that this phenomena is a result of one of two things: either almost the entire fucking outside world is unconditionally batshit crazy, or I’ve totally missed the boat. Jury’s still out. But I prefer the former, for obvious reasons.
  10. My sister-in-law recently pointed out that I haven’t posted pictures in a really long time. She’s right. And it’s because I’m lazy. So to counteract my slothful tendencies, I give you the following. Aren’t they freaking adorable? (By the way, if you click on the photo you’ll get a bigger version. You know, so you can REALLY get all up in our business. Or something.)

Oh, and PLEASE vote for me? Please please please? I doubt there’s any way in hell I’ll win (there are some pretty popular blogs nominated) but hey, perhaps the no-namer will win this one. Either way, friends, thanks being here. You are the wind beneath my wings. (That made me LOL and my husband said “are you cracking yourself up again?” and I said “yes” and he mumbled something about fools. Jackass men. They don’t get it.)

You see this running dancing jumping behavior? It needs to stay people. STAY.





looking stoic. love those cheeks.








Tattooed man with baby in baby carrier = the way things oughta be.


8 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | August 28, 2011

Leave a Comment

Comment policy: Try not to be a dick.