Snow, Harry Potter, and…a GOAT!

by Janelle Hanchett


  1. I feel like people should stop telling me to clean up my language on my blog. I mean, if I haven’t done it by now, what are the chances I’m ever gonna fucking do it?
  2. Speaking of language, Georgie is using some really innovative variations of it. She calls her pajamas her “bananas.” She inserts the article “a” in strange places: “Look at A me,” or, when you ask her how old she is, “A two.” And sometimes, “Go A nigh-nigh.” So that’s not adorable, at all.
  3. Do you guys ever listen to NPR on the topic of America? I did today. By the end of the show I came away with three facts: 1. Climate change is coming and we all shall die an Armageddon-like death; 2. The economy is in a state that makes it virtually impossible to address climate change, and therefore we will all soon die an Armageddon-like death; and 3. My best move is probably to build a home out of hay bales and solar panels, in Denmark, and invest in some sort of arsenal to defend my family from the upcoming apocalypse.
  4. I realize these things may be true, but they’re scary. Why can’t I just live with my head buried so deep in the sand I’m just SURE we’ve got nothing to worry about? Because that doesn’t help, Janelle.
  5. Since I haven’t written this list thing in 2 weeks, I have to tell you about what we did 2 weekends ago. We went to this place in the Sierra foothills called “Apple Hill.” We went there to hang out and get apples. Imagine that. Anyway, we were there for about 10 minutes when it started hailing, then snowing. It was like FREEZING. Ava was in flip-flops. Whatever. She’s ten – not my problem if she makes stupid decisions and her toes freeze off.
  6. No really. I’m serious. I am a firm believer in letting kids experience the consequences of their own decisions, particularly when it’s a kid capable of saying things like “Do you know what my teacher did today? She used a malapropism! She said ‘pitcher’ for ‘picture.’” You know what a malapropism is but you can’t figure out how to wear weather-appropriate footwear? I don’t think I can help you.
  7. Anyway, so we get there and it snows and the kids start flipping out and playing in it, and we drink hot apple cider and have a snow-ball fight. Then, the yuppies from the San Francisco Bay Area started trying to drive their BMWs up the hill, slipping all over the fucking place, until one of them crashes into a tree and my badass husband had to help them out.
  8. That was Sunday two weeks ago. After that I had a week of hell. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to actually graduate. I’ll just have 99% of a Master’s Degree, but not the actual thing. Won’t that be swell?
  9. Oh, and a goat was born at the ranch. Have you ever seen a baby goat?! They’re stunningly adorable. Obviously, they brought it in the house.
  10. If I told Tyler Durden how much I like the iPhone I recently purchased, he’d probably say “You are not your fucking iPhone.” But then I’d have to respond, “Right, I can see how you might think that…but have you ever actually had an iPhone?”
  11. But this past Saturday we had Ava’s Harry Potter birthday party. She turns 11 next week. I’ll get all weepy about that later. I need to tell you about this party first. So the little girl started planning this thing at least 6 months ago. Not kidding. She had it all figured out, down to the FOOD. Everybody who came had a character. She planned the “classes” we would teach. My husband whittled each girl her own wand. My mom and I made a “sorting hat.” We provided them all capes and pins based on the results of the sorting hat (Gryffindor or Ravensclaw!). Mac was Snape; my mom was Professor Trelawney; I was Professor McGonagall. We were all dressed up. I did the sorting hat. My mother the “divinations” class. My sister-in-law was the dude at the store who gives out wands. And Mac was a VERY MEAN Professor Snape, who the kids just couldn’t get enough of.  My mother-in-law made all the food (and I mean ALL of it).

It was an amazing party. Ava said it was the perfect Harry Potter party and it was everything she had hoped for.

I felt like telling her she was everything I’ve ever hoped for, my little Hermione Granger


the wands Mac carved. best daddy ever?

Mac beams a kid.


and…the goat.


Have a great week, all.


14 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | November 18, 2012
  • Mom of 5

    Please don’t clean up your language! How will you ever be able to express your true feelings!! I for one enjoy using profanity whenever I can. 😉 True Story: I had a facebook friend that not only de-friended me, but blocked me for typing the word vagina in my post! Now first of all, she has a vagina so I don’t understand why the word offends her so much,…and secondly, I know damn well she uses hers because she has 4 kids. I thought it was funny that de friending me wasn’t enough, but she needed the added blocking so that I no longer exist in her life. I am NO threat to her sensitive eyeballs anymore I guess. Whatever! There just words for crap sakes. People need to chill out and eat some pancakes! I just realized I have over used exclamation points in this comment. I guess I feel strongly about this…or I could just say Fuck! Sorry….I couldn’t help it. You ROCK….don’t change 🙂

  • Mom of 5

    and the Harry Potter Party is truly Inspiring. Great Job!! Loved the pictures. <3

  • carlisle

    omgawd, love.
    your blog makes me happy. most, um, motherbloggers suck ass to read. they just aren’t…relatable (wow, my browser says that isn’t a word) to me. real. gritty. grungey, that’s a good term. I mean, do any of them reference Tyler Durden? and then at the same time you’re trying to be all responsible and shit. and all crunchy, hippie like. I tell people me and my baby, we’re hippies. And they’re like, weren’t you all punk or whatever? that’s a huge change! I reply, basically my philosophy’s unchanged, only now I’d rather pick flowers and sing than blackout and break my fifth of whiskey with your face. :]

  • Sheena

    Funny, I had the week from hell that same week. I keep telling myself 2013 HAS to be better. If people are offended by the language they can just NOT READ IT. I love your posts!

  • dixiebelle

    Well you are just wonderful, and your family adventures are rather entertaining! I too have a new iPhone. I resisted. I got one. I do like it a lot.

  • dixiebelle

    PS. Not sure why people keep reading if they don’t like your dirty language. I speak like that in real life, so doesn’t worry me. If you stopped swearing, I would think something was up.

  • Sam Kidd

    Do not change a thing. The cursing is my thing also.So let it rip! And her party sounded and looked magnificent.

  • Alycia

    The pure joy in Mac’s face as he is launching himself over the table as he tries to hit that little kid is PRICELESS! Love it!

  • Katie Vyktoriah

    Please don’t clean up your language. I am super jealous that you can be yourself on here as I have to be a lot more guarded on my blog since my other half’s entire family is hardcore Mormon. It also means I have to have filters on my Facebook. It is EXHAUSTING. I wouldn’t bother, but they’re so damn nice that I can’t bring myself to offend them in any way. I mean, they have been super accepting about the fact that Mark and I are about to have our SECOND baby despite not yet being married, so I know they would not judge me, but seriously… how can you not censor yourself around MORMONS?!

    Um. Also, I wish you had been my mom. I never had a single birthday party in my life until I was 16 and gave myself a party. My mom offered to make a peanut butter pie (I hate peanut butter) and then she went mental in the middle of the party and THREW the pie across the room and started screaming at everyone for ruining her life. There are still peanut butter stains on the ceiling of her kitchen. It’s been nearly 15 years…

  • Marisa

    1. Love you just the way you are! Don’t change a thing.

    2. Oh sweet Georgie.

    3. I was confused about the goat. I had to re-read the post to make sure it wasn’t your goat, maybe added into the mix with the puppy.

    4. Love the Harry Potter Party, sounds so fun!

  • paige

    I’m not exactly sure why people would think they could tell you what to do on your blog… I’m gonna go all ‘murican… FREEDOM OF SPEECH, BITCHES! yeah. ‘murica.

    also. I want goats. goats are adorable and I want them all and I squealed when I saw your picture.

    and I said this before but your kids are amazing.


  • Vanessa

    If I don’t like someone’s blog I just stop reading it. I know, I’m some kind of genius. And as for your pinterest worthy Harry Potter party, you are amazing (and your whole family). That is unreal. You are never allowed to claim bad parenting again. Amazing. Whittled your own wands? I have no words.

  • Shan

    1. Fuck ’em.
    All others, I am too lazy to scroll up and down for numbers. Tom has an almost Masters. Some day he may write what I refer to as The Damn Paper. Tom is generally awesome, but this has become a problem. Don’t be Tom (in this instance).
    I read number five and six to him. word. (Speaking of which, we are headed to Dublin. One of these trips, we need to get together!)
    Seriously, whittled them? For Fynnie’s first birthday I made wands. Sugar cookies and sticks. No whittling.

  • Heather Lambie (@heatherlambie)

    I came purely to see the goat, I have to admit (I loves me a baby goat). But will stay for the filthy language. Thanks for your honesty!