This week…IS IT OVER YET?

by Janelle Hanchett
  1. If I were a stay-at-home-mom and I knew some self-righteous working mom who thought I did nothing all day, I’d totally knock on her door 3 weeks into winter break, smile and ask “How do ya like me now, bitch?”
  2. Cause seriously. This shit’s crazy.
  4. It’s not that we all hate each other. Or maybe it is. No, we just mostly hate each other. I jest. The truth is that 90% percent of the time my kids are annoying the hell out of each other AND me, 5% of the time they’re not annoying each other but definitely annoying me –and the remaining 5% is the time we’re having happy family bonding moments.
  5. So as you can see, those odds suck. There is so much yelling in my house. It ain’t right.
  6. The thing is, I’m not really working and school doesn’t start again until January 28, so basically I’ve been doing nothing except “homemaking” (I put that it in quotes because seriously, I’m not sure if I’m capable of such a task) since December 10. The good news is I turned over some miracle crafting leaf in the form of my obsession with making body care products. The bad news is my house looks like the woman in charge has an obsession with making body care products, as opposed to, say, cleaning. Or “homemaking.”
  7. I haven’t done laundry in nineteen days, but if you need a rosemary mint sugar scrub, I’m your girl.
  8. I suppose I should do some sort of Christmas-recap-Happy-New-Year’s-reflection-thing, but the truth is I really don’t feel like it. Christmas was a bit of a disappointment, as holidays usually are, and it passed as Christmas usually does, driving around and getting ready and not being at home, with my family, where I want to be. Next year I’m cancelling all commitments on that day. I mean it. I’m out. I just want to sit at home with my husband and kids for a few hours to open gifts and play with them, hang out together and relax and drink coffee and not have to get dressed or drive or be anywhere, until the evening at least. I don’t know why that means so much to me, but it does, and I have only myself to blame for not making it happen, pretty much ever. I seem to cave at the critical moment. I’m a caver. I always think it will be okay and fun and then it’s just too much and it’s stressful. But then by the next year, I forget again. And I get a little sad at the end of the day, because once again I didn’t spend Christmas the way I envisioned. Let’s talk about something else.
  9. Like New Year’s. Yes, New Year’s. Now THAT was fun. Some new friends of ours (who I now pretty much see as family) invited us on New Year’s Eve to a house they rented on Lake Tahoe. The day before New Year’s Eve was the day we spent running around thrift stores trying to scrounge together snow gear. Oh yeah. We plan.
  10. But we went and it was one of those days that’s just so perfect. Where the weather’s fine and the company’s wonderful and the fire’s burning and the kids are laughing. It was a 5% kind of day, and it set it all right.

Happy New Year to all of you. I fucking love you.

Let’s do big shit this year. Or not.

Cause let’s be honest, we’re already big. We’re huge, particularly in Japan.

Kinduva big deal.

Well to each other, at least. And that must be something, right? Maybe in Japan?

Anyway…snow trip!

my jacket from the 1980s!

steer clear of the yellow, Georgie!

he’s growing his beard back. oh happy day.

definitely a 5% kind of day

13 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | January 6, 2013
  • Shan

    Why, yes, I would love some rosemary mint sugar scrub, thanks!

    Oh, Christmas and the *pace* of the freaking day! We pared things down this time, but that was mainly because 1/3 of my family has moved to other states recently, including my son. Not quite the thing it once was. Anyway, my plan is to ask my dad and his wife to push their celebration back by another hour or two next time. If we lived 10 minutes away noon sounds great. But it meant packing up everything the *instant* breakfast was over this time.

    And Japan? Yeah, we just sent our home stay student back home to Japan. We’re *huge* there right now. Her mom said she smiles when she speaks of us. (I’m pretty sure “us” is code for Tom, bahaha.)

  • Shelley

    You are great! I value your honesty and how real you are…love it! So glad I’m not alone in all this chaos 😉 happy new year!

  • Brenna

    ditto to all. Thanks for saying it.

  • Jessica

    Happy new year 🙂

    All of our family is out of state so we opted out of traveling. It was nice until about 4pm when we were all about to go stir crazy and wishing we had family near so we could leave the house for a few hours. Ha.

    And about #1…that is one of “those” situations where if you haven’t experienced it first hand, you will never fully comprehend the mental and physical work that it requires. So I try not to get offended when some jackass doesn’t “understand”. Puh-lease…I wish I had a income earning job. It would be a nice little break. 🙂


  • kim


    Since you’re “off” for a few more weeks we should get together. Something that involves quiet and raw fish.


  • Kathy G

    We cancelled Christmas this year– I can do this because my “kid” is now 20. It was relaxing, and I felt very good about having incurred no debt… HOWEVER it was also lackluster and boring. So I promised my Man and younger man we would do it up next year. I am a crappy homemaker, I work outside the home so I can use that as an excuse. The thing is, when I had to work full time, I had to let certain things go and lower the standards. We did this and found out the world didn’t end, we didn’t drop dead of some vile virus that grew in our suburban petrie dish. Obviously those tasks were more for homemaker ego building and not integral for human health; so why would I bother doing them and waste my free time doing stuff I don’t enjoy? Life is short. Extreme Homemaking is for the obsessive-compulsive; it’s the flipside of Hoarders. Anyone who has lived with an obsessive homemaker knows this (and has multiple outside activities to get the hell out of the house). So send those kids back to school and soak in your rejuvenating artisan bubble bath, sugar scrub that winter skin smooth and listen…. it’s quiet. Now that is planning.

  • Eddie - The Usual Mayhem

    We managed to avoid leaving the house on Christmas – which meant, naturally, that we were at the grocery store the evening of Dec 24th, and cooking for 14, rearranging furniture, and muttering festive thoughts such as “If your mother gets out her camera during dinner this year, she’s not invited back. EVER.” on Christmas Day. New Years I was in bed by 10 and only woke up when the rednecks down the road started running up and down with cap guns and shouting.

    Did I mention how much I detest the holidays?

  • Mom of 5

    Oh how I understand the “noise” that you speak of!! The usual level of octaves in my house ranges from super annoying ear splitting breaking the sound barrier type noise… massively screeching what the hell was that friggin sound coming from that child type noise! Somewhere between those two ranges is the usual level! 😉 I adore my kids….I do….but YAAAAY for school! The husband bought me these super cool, chunky style headphones, and when I opened them up I was like…” hm. …thanks, but what do I do with them”.. Cuz i’m not super cool like that I guess. Anyway….I started using them, and I seriously have NO idea how I survived life without a pair of super cool chunky headphones. I am a changed person!!! These things ROCK my world! Not only do I look like a very cool DJ while I use them..( not really;)) , but These things block any noise anywhere except what you want to hear…which has been very helpful in the whole…Kids out of school thing!;) I’m never taking these bad boys off. Not ever. I can put on like really awesome classical tunes while the kids are fighting, and it looks like a sundance film or something. Only kidding, I don’t do that! O.O…yes I do!!! Adorable pictures! and BTW…I fucking love you too!! 🙂

  • julia adams

    This year I asked for two things for Christmas – a toblerone in my stocking and to stay in my pjs and lay around the house all day. So feel free to copy my wish list and when people ask you next year you can say “I’d love to but my family got me this gift and I have to stay home all day to receive it.

  • Jamey

    We didn’t cave this year, shockingly. Decided we would not travel with a toddler and a preschooler during any winter holidays. Well, by the way our families looked at us or spoke with us after we told them, you’d think we’d said we were moving to Antarctica. Like if its not Christmas with my in-laws, it’s not really Christmas.

  • Jill

    You have no idea who I am, just some random mom who can’t sleep. I read through a lot of your blog, I am loving it. Keep up the good work. I have to say I had your idealic Christmas, and it kind of sucked too. We live in a different state from our families, and every damn thing is closed. Usually we go to shopping or something, but even walmart was closed. It was ok until 6 pm when I was going stir crazy, went to the one store that was open (CVS) and dyed my own hair some unappealing color (not on purpose of course). It was worth it though just to have something to do other than play with Christmas toys and watch shitty Christmas TV shows.

  • Kate

    My husband and I set precedent the first year we were married. We refuse to drive anywhere on Christmas Day. We get up in the morning and have coffee drinks and cook decadent food and spend the day in our jammies with the kids eating and drinking and assembling Christmas toys and watching Christmas movies. We do Christmas Eve with one side of the family and Boxing Day (Dec 26) with the other side. This also extends the merriment and spreads it out over the course of a few days, making it seem like Christmas lasts longer. And I don’t feel like offing some of the family to make life easier ;)….or less so, anyway. I HIGHLY recommend it!! Good luck next year! (or I guess it would be this year…)

  • Katie