what I learned this week…this crap should be illegal.

by Janelle Hanchett


  1. There is so much going on in my life right now I can hardly breathe. I think I may be losing my mind for real, though I’m not sure.
  2. Here are the things I’m facing this month. In August. Just this month (yes, I feel a little sorry for myself): Wrapping up an 8-year job/ Beginning grad school/ Ava starting a new school/ Beginning to homeschool Rocket/ First day with a new nanny for the baby (holy fuck that’s a big one)/ Going on a small but big-enough-to-require-planning vacation at the end of the month/Georgia’s 1st birthday celebration/ Planning Rocket’s 6th birthday party, which occurs the first part of September…
  3. The only of the above-listed items I’ve completed is Georgia’s birthday party, which was a small, family-only affair (of about 12 people)…in which I for some god-forsaken reason decided to cook homemade carnitas, refried beans and tortillas ALL FROM SCRATCH – by myself, for the party. It was lovely but I swear I almost lost it due to the stress. I was flipping, delirious. Still am.
  4. Georgia likes white sugar. She tasted it for the first time at her party. We cut her a little piece of cake and held it out in front of her…after she took a bite, she got this surprised look on her face and did a complete face-plant into it. As if her hands were just gonna take Way.Too.Long. It was beyond perfect.
  5. It was a great party. It was at my mom’s house, and my brother and sister-in-law and niece & nephew came and my grandparents and my dad and stepmom and my in-laws – all of them came – and we surrounded the little Georgia with big crazy ass family arms.
  6. And then we fell silent into a pork-fat coma.
  7. Nature and I need to have a little talk. When we do, it’s going to go something like this: “Look, bitch, if you’re gonna give me pimples like when I was 16, you better hook me up with my 16-year-old body, too. You can’t pick and choose like that, yo.”
  8. I guess I’m that stressed – I’m returning to having pubescent skin issues.
  9. I’m afraid I’m going to lose friends this month since I most likely won’t be returning many phone calls, reading blogs, texting, Skyping, visiting in person (do people still do that?), emailing, Facebook stalking, Twittering, standing in front lawns peeping into windows, or any other variation of enjoyable social activities.
  10. Please don’t desert me, people. I’ll resurface one of these days. Well in a month, actually. Seriously, though, months like this one should be illegal.

Cheers, all.

double-fistin' it, wondering "Mama, why the hell did you keep this from me for so long?"

lovely birthday girl, post cake face-plant

5 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | August 7, 2011
  • kim

    Ever since I went camping my skin has not been the same. I have zits on my shoulders. SHOULDERS. BIG, NASTY, cyst-like pimples. Also, I just had to dye my hair to cover all the new grey. Naturally, I feel hot.

    I’ll be around in September when your life turns less crazy. Miss you, kitten.

  • Stacie

    Janelle, I am so proud of you. Just know that you will experience more stress than you ever imagined, but it’s all worth it! I started my master’s program this summer, completing 9 credits in 6 weeks. Simultaneously, Brandon was (and still is) in the police academy 40 hours a week. I was in school in the day, he was in school at night, and all day Saturdays. We were both single parents. Just trading off with each other, all the while completing ridiculous assignments. Needless to say, my face resembled that of a sixteen year old. I’m still trying to recover, just to start up again in a couple of weeks. I’m glad to share the “why am I doing this?!” feeling with you. Through all of it, I really did love my classes and going back to school. You will love it too, along with all of the insanity. I love you!

  • Teresa

    Happy Birthday, Georgia!!!!!

  • dani

    I’ve seriously considered turning off the comments on my own blog…then when I don’t comment because I’m busy with life…or just sitting in my panties watching Man vs. Food and drinking beer…I won’t feel so *guilty*.

    You know I can’t quit you.

    Don’t combust. K?

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