what I learned this week…malls and mean people, suck.

by Janelle Hanchett


  1. Rocket makes an excellent 6-year-old.
  2. Is it wrong that I kinda like it when Rocket gets overtired and irrational and cranky, because he acts all babyish and cuddly and for once sits on my lap without squirming?
  3. (Yes, Janelle, that’s probably wrong).
  4. We bought Ava a cell phone because we keep forgetting her on early release day. I wish these things weren’t true. I do.
  5. We’re having a hard time explaining to her that it’s not a real cell phone, though perhaps it resembles one. Rather, it is a parent/grandparent connection device, and that is all. No internet. No phone numbers of friends. No use whatsoever other than to call the mother or father to let them know you’re waiting for their sorry asses. Again.
  6. You know what’s an awkward conversation? Trying to explain to the nanny (in Spanish no less) that unless she’s near death she really just needs to show up and watch the kids and, no, I don’t really care about germs, or whether she’s hopped up on DayQuil, or if the kids are plugged into the television for 4 hours…I just need her here.
  7. So we went to the mall yesterday. It was fun because I was with my family (including my brother & his family, who I adore and it’s a dream having them around – seriously, like heaven). It was not fun because I was with everybody else’s families (you know, everyday people at the mall), which is entertaining at best, though more often, just painful. And can we talk for a moment about the music most of those clothing stores play? That pounding wanna-be techno/pop crap – these idiot chicks with high-pitched whiney voices chanting redundant lines about scoring rich men and displaying their large asses? Even if the clothing itself was something other than over-priced, poorly made garments, made in China with synthetic fibers, I wouldn’t enter their doors anyway, on account of that sound. Holy shit I sound like an old person.
  8. Okay but don’t get me wrong. I am not some sort of clothing snob. I’m not even a clothing critic. I’m so fashion lame I’m barely allowed to have an opinion on clothing. I just don’t like paying money for crap. I’d rather pay a little more and get half the items. And, I like cotton. And I hate annoying pop music – the commercialization of it all – the shoveling of shit into people’s hands at ridiculous prices because the consumer population is brainwashed into thinking they MUST HAVE THIS ITEM. The end.
  9. Speaking of snobs, I read a blog post about this woman who rejected all the women in a local mother’s group (and wrote a whole blog post smashing them ) because they didn’t put on make-up or dress nicely (in her opinion) to an outing at an apple orchard. At an apple orchard (yes, clearly this woman has some misguided notions of appropriate event-attire). And though I see idiot all the time, this was my first real exposure to such overt superficiality and meanness. Most people communicate their sense of superiority in underhanded, subtle ways. She pretty much just announced (and though I’m paraphrasing, the message was clear): “I’m better than them because I’m better looking, wear make-up, and have fashion sense. They have ‘let themselves go’ (direct quote), and therefore, are not worth my time.”  And there were comments in support of this snobbery. Friends, these are the evil popular girls in high school, only grown up and writing blogs. It’s unreal. She was awful. I hate that crap. How stunning that there are actual grown-ups who define people (and dismiss them) due to the way they look, only and completely.
  10. You know who I don’t hate? You people. I was straight terrified to publish that letter to Rocket. I bawled writing the whole thing and after I did, I felt this incredible relief, but it felt like a journal entry, not something you publish on the internet. But I try not to make decisions based on fear, so I said “fuck it” and I hit publish, getting ready for comments of disdain, or, worse yet, SILENCE. But what did I get? A whole shitload of awesome. Thank you thank you.

And thanks for voting for me during that contest. I don’t really have a chance in hell of winning (since I’m all small-time and stuff), but whatevs, it means a lot to even be nominated, let alone have a few people vote for me, which I know you did.

Have a great week, people. And check out Rocket on his new bike (right before he crashed into a bush):

13 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | September 11, 2011
  • Mom is a Writer

    Thanks for this, everything you write feels genuine, like I’m right there with you!!
    And most of all, thanks for being a real mom and not glossing over the hard parts 🙂

    • renegademama

      Thank YOU for reading. For some reason I just saw this comment – weird. Anyway, I’m sure there are people out there who think I should have my parenting rights revoked, but whatever, there are others of us (like you) who “get me” and know it’s true – sometimes this shit sucks. The end. Cheers.

  • Michael Ann Riley

    After reading this I am still trying to process what kind of woman posts on a blog that she hates other women because they are fat and ugly. WTF? That is mind boggling. I want to go egg her house or TP her yard.

    Go Rocket Go!

    • renegademama

      Indeed. You know what’s funny, though, is that I went back to it to grab and actual quote and it’s GONE. She deleted it. I wonder if somebody ripped her a new one, or perhaps she reread it and realized how horribly shallow and judgmental it sounded…one can only hope.

      Though I imagine that’s giving her WAY too much credit.

  • kim

    The worst part of that post was all the encouraging comments. Scary, really.

    • renegademama

      I know. Followers, etc. It makes me wonder whether or not some people can think for themselves AT ALL.

  • Megan

    I read that blog post too. And while I don’t hate that person, I definitely did find myself saying WTF is her problem? Unreal.

    • renegademama

      thank you for your comment, particularly because you said “while I don’t hate her…” It made me realize that I don’t hate her either – rather, I hate that kind of snobbish behavior- I don’t even know her. So I edited my post to reflect more accurately what I was trying to say. Sometimes I get flippant and say things “off the cuff” so to speak without really thinking. You know. Ranting and whatnot. 🙂

  • jess

    I read that post too…and was pretty surprised. And unfollowed for that reason. She’s very, very young and I have to remind myself that some moms with babies are much younger than I am, hence the lack of maturity and high school mentality.

    That said. I want to punch mean people. Im probably that ugly mommy now. When I had one kid I had time to shower. Now, with four? HAHAHAHAHA.

    • renegademama

      After I read this I checked out her blog further and see that she’s only 24. That is pretty young – I was pretty lame at that age (of course I’m still lame, but in totally different ways) – I guess the difference is I wasn’t blogging about my lameness. 🙂 And I never judged people the way she does – even in high school I saw through that crap. But I did think I KNEW everything about, well, everything. Gawd I was obnoxious.

      And HA re: the showering. I can only imagine.

  • Julie

    Who does that sort of thing? I don’t think she was the popular girl, I think she was a hanger-on who is still trying to validate herself. Most of the “Mean Girls” from my high school days grew up to be pretty nice ladies. Perhaps she just needs more time. Although I am DYING to know who this is. 😉

  • meagan

    My 10 yr old asked me as we walked into a store behind a mom pushing a stroller if all moms wore the same bun in their hair. You know the bun that is droopy and is really a pony tail not followed through on because you could care less. umm yeah, i wear that bun all the time, guess i’ve let myself go, oh well.
    ps you are awesome

  • The Stubbs Blend

    You make me feel normal. My husband and I recently married and have a blended family. I have one and he has two. I went from single parenting, working full time and going to school to full time stay at home mom. Holy crap what a change. There have been some really rough days, from feeling lonely and isolated, to the kids just plain being horrible hurricanes of tiny humans. I had a major breakdown last week. I finally dumped it all out and I am on a much better path. Today was peaceful. I needed peaceful. I have read your blog off and on. The things you say and feel, I have had the same thoughts and have said lots of things! It is nice to see some one who “gets it.”