In other news, we are not rich.

by Janelle Hanchett

So a few days ago I sort of dropped a few lines about our nanny. Just kinda threw ‘em in there like it was nothin’.

That night at around 3am the thought came into my mind that perhaps that could have sounded a bit pretentious – you know, to just drop in casual conversation how rad my nanny is. Very Desperate Housewives. Right? (I haven’t actually seen that show, but I THINK it’s about rich suburban white people, and, presumably, their nannies.)

Now, since this thought came to me at 3am I decided not to act upon it immediately. Because some pretty weird shit comes into my mind at 3am, and seems to make a whole lotta sense at that particular juncture. You know like I’ll decide one of my kids is really truly for REALS suffering due to my absences and if I don’t do something RIGHT NOW he or she may actually not make it. And she or he will end up a crackhead and all he or she will say is “well, you shoulda seen my terrible mother.”

Which is ridiculous, because everybody knows I’m a freaking fantastic mother.

So clearly 3am thoughts are not to be trusted.

This one, however, stuck with me. And came at 3pm and then again about 10 minutes ago. Therefore, I write this: we are not rich. We only have a nanny because it would have cost MORE to put them in day care. More, people. MORE.

And my husband works three (yep, count ‘em, three) jobs. And I have student loans. And I work as a consultant. In other words, there ain’t no trust fund up in here.

Now please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t have anything against rich people (WELL, I might, but mostly because I’m jealous) and I don’t even care if you thought for a minute I was storing millions in my sock drawer – what I don’t like is the idea of coming across as a pretentious woman of privilege who doesn’t recognize it and assumes everybody lives the way she does.

We live paycheck to freaking paycheck and my kids go to public school and I may or may not fantasize about not living like this some day. And I know we’re DAMN LUCKY to have what we have.

So there you have it.

I’m just keepin’ it real.

We don’t have much. Our mortgage is less than most people’s rent (read: um, modest accommodations?). But we have jobs and therefore, I don’t complain. I actually never complain about our finances (I mean DUH of course I complain to my husband and in my head) but I don’t complain to others. Because we have jobs. And that’s a lot.

So anyway, forgive me if I “name dropped” the nanny.

I’m still the broke ass I’ve always been, just with a freaking incredible nanny, who kisses my kids and hugs me and makes homemade tortillas and fits in this house like a third parent. Only she’s much better at this than I am. She’s amazing. And if I believed in blessings I’d say we are “blessed.”

But I don’t say shit like that.

So instead I’ll just say the universe gave us an incredible gift when we crossed paths with this woman.

Anyway I gotta go. I’m meeting my massage therapist in my steam room in five minutes and my cook is yelling something about being pissed at the butler. Silly helpers.

Oh wait never mind. That yelling I hear is my oldest kid screaming about the youngest kid putting her hands in the toilet, and there’s pee in it.

Shouldn’t I have staff to handle that?

15 Comments | Posted in posts not fitting elsewhere. | October 29, 2011
  • Stephanie

    Thanks. Helps with my snowstorm/stress/some-dog-keeps-howling-and-disturbing-my twins’-sleep insomnia. Do they all wear matching uniforms?

    • renegademama

      Of course. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Everything in my house matches. HAHAHAHAHA!

  • Michael Ann Riley

    You’re livin’ the dream! 🙂

    • renegademama

      It’s so funny you say that – all the time my response to “how are you” is “livin’ the dream” and they think I’m kidding, but I’m totally not. Except when I am. 🙂

  • Lori Dyan

    Well, you are obviously rich in love. Or something. Maybe pee?

    • renegademama

      Yes. there is plenty of pee in my world. This made me laugh.

  • Brandon

    Firstly The Stepford Wives was a biting satire/black comedy all about husbands replacing their wives with robots that are programmed to be idealized 50s housewives. They cook, clean, have sex whenever their husbands what it, take care of the kids, etc all while wearing a dress, pearls and perfect hair. The original is actually pretty good. The remake is a mess in spite of the presence of Chris Walken.

    As for nannies, we have one that comes twice a week, and it really is cheaper than daycare (especially with twins). So I get it and pass no judgement.

    No if you don’t mind the chaffuer is waiting in the Bentley to take me to my tee time.

    • renegademama

      Dude. Brandon. Thanks for saving me on that one. I realized I was thinking of Desperate Housewives. Or maybe I’m wrong on that one too. This is all very complicated.

      Have fun golfing.

  • kim

    Wait. You’re NOT rich? Consider our friendship terminated immediately.

    Also, you’ve just blogged about money so be prepared for the krazies to make their appearance know.

    • kim

      Or known. Or now. But now know.

  • kim

    GOOD GAWD. *NoT know. I swear I’m not drunk. Yet.

  • Shar

    I love it! Thank you for appreciating the jobs that you have and the life it affords you, even if you aren’t privileged. I once lived a decent life as a stay at home mom in a modest house that we owned and now (if you’ve read my blog you will know)it is all gone. But yet somehow, I am still grateful for what we have! There is always someone who has less than us and we can always pay something forward!

    Hope that wasn’t too preachy??

  • Sara

    I remember thinking “lucky dog” when I read you had a nanny. I need a life nanny. And now that I’m working two jobs, I can probably afford that right? I can just stop paying student loans and (Husband’s) cc bills and the car payment, right? Right?? Damn.

  • Stacey

    Does everyone who reads this have twins?!

  • Ashley marie

    oooh I looooove you

    and looky there… sometimes bein clever pays off! way to go figuring it was cheaper to have a nanny than spend the dough on daycare!