This week…I feel 18 again, SORT OF.

by Janelle Hanchett
  1. So, school’s back in. I am officially “over it.” Normally, I feel all this excitement in my gut at the prospect of buying pens and highlighters and flags. (no really, I do.) This semester, I feel like I’m signing up for the gradual demise of my soul. Wow. That was dramatic.
  2. Even my advising professor was all “You’re ready to be doing something else.”
  3. But the MOST FUN THING EVER is that I’m suddenly like 18 again, because I keep hearing That Dreaded Question – and I’m already over that one too: “So, what are you going to do when you graduate?”
  4. Only rather than being able to say “going to college!”, I get to stare at them blankly and answer “I dunno, discuss postcolonial theory with my labrador?”
  5. I mean shit, if I’m going to feel put-on-the-spot like an 18-year-old, can’t I at least have my flat belly and small ass back? I feel like that’s a fair compromise.
  6. Speaking of fat asses, I’ve been eating shit all week. I have lost one pound since I wrote my fat-chick post, so evidently, I SUCK. However, for the past three weeks I’ve been doing the “Couch to 5K” program (it’s an app on my Iphone), which means I’ve been jogging 3 times a week. The husband says I’ve been looking thinner, and my super-trusted friend says that when you first start running you usually gain weight. That may be true, or it’s the shit I’ve been funneling down my throat to drown out my terror of not knowing what I’m going to do when I graduate.
  7. Get a job? Go on for my PhD? Try for the PhD and if I don’t get in, get a job? Fuck it all and have another kid and write (AS IF THAT’S POSSIBLE)?
  8. I realize you all can’t answer these questions for me, and I realize they’ll all get figured out in time, because, well, is there any other option?
  9. Today we watched the 49ers lose the Super Bowl. There are a lot of sad people out on the streets around me right now. I’m not much of a football sports fanatic (um, we don’t even have a television), but I have to admit, growing up within an hour of San Francisco, I’ve always had a heart for the niners and the Giants, and I have an even bigger heart for the damn underdog, which is why I REALLY, REALLY wanted them to pull through. I mean shit they were fightin’!
  10. Also, I’m gearing up to write my first “FTM Friday” post (Fuck the Man Friday). I had to go with the more offensive title, mostly because we’ve gotta keep it real on this blog — I mean seriously, what would we do if a bunch of politically correct green mamas landed on this blog, gettin’ all offended and shit? Anyway I’ve been holding off starting the series because I want to be sure all the recipes I’ve been using are the best ones (for example the AMAZING deodorant I was so excited about suddenly starting giving me a nasty rash (BUT ONLY ON ONE ARMPIT!), so now I’m experimenting with other recipes, but I plan on starting the series this week. Also, if any of you are artistically inclined, maybe you could make me a little FTM Friday mascot. I want like a little hippie chick or dude with a shirt on that says “fuck the man.” I have a vision, but no means to execute it (read: talent). Come on, puh-lease?

I’d be happy with something out of Microsoft Paint. Not joking.

Anyway, here’s a few photos from our week (or maybe the last two?).

Love you, people.



We’ve been laughing at friends’ houses.


and dancing at friends’ houses

Rocket hung out in San Francisco with his nana.

and rocked his cake-decorating class, with me.

there have been pig tails

And this. Weirdness.

Sometimes you suspect your kids are weird. Other times, you just know it.

Have a good week.


Also, if you’re bored on Wednesday night (Feb. 6), come to “Bows & Arrows” in downtown Sacramento at 8pm. I’m “doing a reading.”

Hoping I figure out what that means before 8pm on February 6.


14 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | February 3, 2013
  • Rebecca Hayhurst

    I have been waiting for my sugar lip balm recipe!
    And I have a great “Surf spray” recipe to share.
    I think you should start a natural beauty care booth and sell things at farmers markets and get a regular column in the Bay Guardian or Playboy or some other reputable publication (you do kind of have a Cynthia Heimel thing going on).

    • renegademama

      A column in Playboy? SWOON.

      That’s like my dream. I could say “fuck,” and see it printed. OMG heaven.

  • Amy

    OMG. I love your blog. Totally. OK, now that that’s been said. 🙂

    Hurrah for the running! I have never ever said, “Oh dang. I should not have gone for that run…”

    I’m struggling with the decision of whether or not to go back to school. At 41. With an eight and a four year old. And a full time job.

    I’m looking forward to FTM Friday. 🙂

    • renegademama

      So true about the running. I’ve often thought about that with the gym, too. It’s such a pain the ass to get there, but I’ve never left thinking “that was a damn waste of time. not worth it.”
      DO IT. You can do it. School will suck, but you’ll just do it. If you’ve got no choice, you figure it out. 🙂

  • Marie

    Ok so I’ve been meaning to write you for a while. You NEED to write a book. I’m serious. I’m reading “Let’s Pretend That Never Happened” by Jenny Lawson (think I spelled that right) and while she’s funny and it’s a good read, your shit? Waaaay funnier and much more entertaining and interesting. Start writing a book damnit.


    • renegademama

      Marie, thank you. I have been trying. I have I promise! I’m about fifty pages in. It will happen one of these days. My problem is that I’m not sure how to expand the narrative into a whole book. Ya know? It’s one thing to write a 1,000 word blog post. It’s another to write 250 pages. There’s gotta be like a story and stuff. Wow, that was eloquent.

      • Marie

        Well you just let me know when it’s ready so I can preorder it please. I can’t wait. Serious. I know you can make it happen.

  • Niamh

    I’m so glad you’re doing Fuck the Man Fridays! And I AM a politically correct green mama! Also, how dare you sit around laughing your heads off at your friend’s houses, have you no shame? Don’t your friends get offended? What’s so funny anyway? Their lack of chairs forcing them to use countertops instead? My friends would never put up with that.

    Get writing that book, I second Marie, you can publish it as an ebook, pdf, easy peasy. And wtf is post-colonial theory? (I’m in Ireland)

    • renegademama

      Welcome, Niamh! This comment cracked me up. “Post-colonialism (also Post-colonial theory, Post-colonial studies, and Postcolonialism) is an academic discipline that comprises methods of intellectual discourse that present analyses of, and responses to, the cultural legacies of colonialism and of imperialism (usually European and of the U.S.), which draw from post-modern schools of thought.” Stole that from Wikipedia. Impressive, right?

  • Wendy

    Your fat-chick post was right on. I’m reading Women, Food, and God right now. Deep realizations. I have lost 8 pounds since January 1. Basically by not eating like a pig all the time. Funny how that happens. Isn’t C25K awesome? I think I will get on the treadmill now. Inspiration has hit! Thanks!

    • renegademama

      You’re doing way better than me. I’ll have to check out that book. That’s a lot of weight to lose! Well done.

  • Tammy

    My 16-year old and I use the Couch to 5K app for some lovely mother-daughter bonding time. Well, we use it off and on. Mostly off… need to fix that…

  • Knitting with Olof

    As someone that got her Master´s at the end of 2011 and then started working only to find out that she was pregnant with her 3rd kid in 4 years, I say shoot for the stars (PhD) and if that doesn’t work then there are always jobs out there. Life will happen. You just have to choose if you are going to try to steer it or just let it happen.

  • Cdar Pinder Sommerville

    I love this one because I really was graduating from college at 18 and had the same thought every time I got asked “so what are you going to do now?”. And that bought was “what the fuck do you think I’m going to do?! I’m going to go work in the field I just paid out the butt to be qualified for and take care of my 2 yr old!!”. That age old question is so dumb, no matter how old it is!!