- I’ve never been so tired in my entire life. I’m in one of those places where you just HOLD ON and tell yourself it can’t last forever. Because it can’t. And that’s why it’s manageable.
- We moved in with my mom (go team!), to a town about 25 minutes away from our old town, which means it takes 30 minutes to get my kids to school in the morning. Let me tell you how much I enjoy that. Mmmkay? Oddly, we’ve been more on time this past week than when we lived 2 minutes from the school.
- I don’t understand life.
- Speaking of not understanding things, that youngest kid running around my house is the cutest little bundle bandit in the world. That’s what we call her: “Bundle bandit.” It fits. My friends call her “the bull.” That also fits. She likes to refer to herself in third person, particularly when she’s charging into the room holding some large object, like a stool: “HERE COMES THE GEORGIE!” (yes. She says “The Georgie.”)
- In the past week she’s done so much cute shit I want to eat her. She discovered the word “similar” but has no idea how to actually use it, so she’s like “That’s a similar color” and the rest of us are like “What’s a similar color?” and Georgia looks at us like we’re about the stupidest excuses for humans she’s ever seen until she repeats, and enunciates: “That’s a SIMILAR color.” Then Rocket asks her the same question like seventy-nine more times until I squeal. Because as you may have noticed, kids have a way of rapidly becoming uncute.
- Georgie is going to be a dinosaur for Halloween (obviously). Ava is a 1950s girl. Rocket is dressing up as “Big Papa,” his paternal great-grandfather, who fought in World War II. Yeah. That’s what he is. His great grandfather as a soldier in WWII. Not sure where he comes up with this stuff, but it’s pretty rad.
- After wearing her dino costume for a couple hours, Georgie joyously announced that next year she wants to be a “princess,” which surprised the crap out of me considering she calls herself a boy, insists she has a penis and prefers monster trucks and tools over all the other things. But I was like “Cool!” And she says “Yeah! I’ll be a big boy princess in a green dress!”
- I really, really hope she doesn’t forget that next year.
- You know what sucks? During difficult times, when you’re supposed to cling more tightly to your spouse and really help each other through the mire, my husband and I get so damn stressed out we pretty much can’t stand each other. Then we fight in really ridiculous ways. Sometimes we lie there in bed and tell each other really helpful things like “You’ve ruined my life” or “We’re never going anywhere ever ever ever.” Sometimes we discuss who’s the worse partner. But mostly we just focus on how much we hate our lives. Then in the morning we’re all “yeah sorry about that, homie.” We don’t actually say homie. Also, I MAY be more the one saying the ridiculous horrible things. Winning at marriage, people. That’s what that is.
- So now we’re figuring out how to cram 5 people into two rooms and fix up our house to sell, and I’m still looking for work to bring in some more income, though there are lots of interesting things happening on that front (much of which is delayed, of course, by the aforementioned fun). All fun. Lots of fun. Yay fun!
- Yeah, I’m whining. Hell yeah I’m whining. Sometimes life fucking bites because it’s just hard and complicated and exhausting. Yeah I know we don’t have real problems and yeah I know we have lots and lots and lots of “blessings,” but I insist on my right to bitch about moving 5 people into 2 rooms in your mom’s house (even if she is amazeballs) because basically you can’t afford your life and need to get the fuck out.
Let’s look at some pictures. I love you guys. I’ll be back writing regularly in no time. STAY WITH ME PEOPLE.
Don’t fail me now.
Have a great Halloween, and I can’t wait to get a couple pictures up of Rocket as “Big Papa.” He did the whole costume himself and it’s pretty damn cute.
TanyaSunday, 27 October, 2013 at 19:57
Hang in there, and good luck with everything. I sympathize, as I’m also in such a crazy hard stage in my life that all I can tell myself is HOLD ON and hope it won’t last forever. Recovering academic, looking for (any kind of job), just moved to a new city, and husband working overseas for the year… long story. And we also tend to fight a lot more instead of supporting each other in difficult times.
Your kids are very creative with their costumes!
My 4 year old decided to be a bus (its actually a relief, considering that last year he threatened to be a bus stop next time), so right now making a bus costume for him is my main distraction from my life problems 🙂
Creshea HiltonSunday, 27 October, 2013 at 19:59
I lay in bed and tell my husband if he’d stop being an asshole then I’d stop being an asshole. Seems like a completely reasonable way to talk to one another…Next day it’s, “Hey what would you like from the store?”
And my kid (who is 3) likes to chime in when I’m asking his father sarcastic rhetorical questions with comments like, “Totally dad” and “I know right?” “I saw that coming!”…love life, it sucks and rules all at the same time 😉
SarahSunday, 27 October, 2013 at 20:01
Sounds so familiar. We moved into my parents’ place, with Mark starting a new job the next day. I’m just starting nursing school and…pregnant (wait, wha?!?). Mark seriously didn’t talk to me for 48 hours as he was in a catatonic state. Happy to say, though, it was only temporary. Hang in there – it gets better!
P.S. I ready your blog posts ASAP (as soon as you post!) You rock.
SaraSunday, 27 October, 2013 at 20:03
Of course we stay with you! You’re so amazing, and the wait is just going to make us love your next post even mooooore! 😀 Thanks for the great pictures, and I can’t wait to see the next ones! And also read your next post!
CarlisleSunday, 27 October, 2013 at 20:29
oh, fuck. hugs. my husband and I moved in with my mom in May. And he pissed her off so bad, we had to leave. we moved 12 hours away out of state to live with my dad (who I don’t even really know and absolutely hated up until a couple years ago). it’s hard.
mostly I’m like obsessively micromanaging our future. like, today I sat down and figured out how many more carseats I’d have to buy and how much it would cost me if I was pregnant right now and due in July, and then I went ahead and figured it up for if I got pregnant in 6 months, 8 months, 10 months, and then a year, 2 years. and what if it was twins?!?! oh my god, what if we get into an accident and I have to buy all new carseats?!!?
and then I plotted out a course schedule if I could get financial aid for college next fall, and then I made a timeline of how our life was going to be for the next 5 years until the baby starts kindergarten, and I couldn’t figure out how I was going to fit another baby in in that timeframe and still go to college and avoid daycare and I still need to learn how to fucking drive and what if my husband is NEVER going to get a job that isn’t minimum wage, and maybe I’ll leave him, but when would be the best time for that, especially because I want another baby but not two baby daddies, oh my god I hate my life, this is my life for the rest of my life, oh my god. And THEN I decide, fuck it, I’m going to get pregnant next time I ovulate to have a baby RIGHT NOW and condense the baby years so they both go to school around the same time, and then I can get a job because TWO FUCKING CHILDREN IN DIAPERS AND ONE BREASTFEEDING WHILE I GO TO COLLEGE (I FUCKING HATE PUMPING) JUST MAKES SO MUCH FUCKING SENSE ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO DO DAYCARE AND I’D BE A BAD MOTHER IF I HAD ANOTHER BABY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT’LL DOOM US TO POVERTY FOREVER BECAUSE I’LL NEVER GO TO COLLEGE AND I MIGHT AS WELL DIVORCE MY HUSBAND IF HE DOESN’T GET A GOOD JOB AND I WANT TO BUY A FUCKING HOUSE BUT I HAVE TERRIBLE CREDIT AND IF I DON’T BUY A PLACE SOON I MIGHT AS WELL LIVE IN A RENTAL THE REST OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I’LL SPEND MORE ON INTEREST IF I BUY AFTER I’M 30 THAN I WILL ON RENTING A FUCKING APARTMENT THE REST OF MY LIFE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
Yea, barely hanging on here too. yes, hugs. hugs all around. :]
ErikaSunday, 27 October, 2013 at 21:02
Right here with you. Not going anywhere.
I lived in SR about 20 years ago and wonder if our paths ever crossed…
JenniferSunday, 27 October, 2013 at 22:08
Life. That alluring, deceitful, pretty little bitch has an uncanny ability to wait til your knees are already trembling before sucker punching you smack bang to the ground, right before handing you a crutch with which to pull yourself on up again.
I’m currently reaching around desperately for afore mentioned crutch as I stupidly threw it away in a rage.
(From another who accidentally treats partner a lot bit shit when should actually be clinging on for dear life because he usually makes everything a lot better)
TinaMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 0:31
Oh hell, do I get you! Fortunately we don’t have to move in with my mum, because that would certainly mean at least one murder in the first week. But we are moving to a very cheap rental house to renovate and sell the one we have now. And it fucking stresses me out. We don’t have anybody close by to look after the kids while we sort everything out. We’ll go to the new house to do some cleaning or trying to do stuff like putting fencing up, whatever. And after half an hour all I hear is “Mama, I’m hungry/bored/hurt myself” or a constant bickering in the background. GAH! I tell you, sometimes I could just……
But hey, we’re actually moving a lot closer to work/school, so that’s a bonus. Shit, I have still SO MUCH to do!
Sue RamboMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 3:41
J-Love your stuff as always. Don’t ever stop writing!
Some time ago I was running around your site or your blog or somewhere and I’m sure I saw a way to donate to you. I can’t find it now and it should be EVERYWHERE! You’re working hard here; great writing, copyrighted, all the bells & whistles that the internet needs to work (and be fun for your readers). Give us a chance to give back a little.
As I write this your counter is at 2889549. If every one of those people just sent you a buck for each time they read your stuff, it would change your life. Wait a minute, then you’d be well off and have nothing to commiserate about. It may change your writing forever. Nevermind.
TammyMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 9:08
Yes- get a tip jar or something! Life is good when you make a little money off something you love doing!
Erika B.Monday, 28 October, 2013 at 4:05
Sometimes life just sucks monkey balls and the only thing you can do is just put one foot in front of the other. Keep moving forward one step at ahead and eventually you’ll see this shit in the rearview mirror and wonder how the hell you got past it. You are one hell of a strong person. You got this. You will get through this. *HUG*
JenMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 5:57
I feel you, girl. I love your honesty and your writing! Please don’t stop. Us homies (I’m from Detroit and actually do call my hubby and friends “homie” all the time)are going through somewhat similar shit and need to read about you going through it too because you make it sound normal and not so very crazy and like we might all survive it. One foot in front of the other! Also, my 9 month old is still waking up every two hours and I am SO FUCKING TIRED!!! Anyway, thanks and so looking forward to your next blog!
KatherineTuesday, 29 October, 2013 at 13:27
I’m not sure if they makes you feel better or worse… but my 18 month old still wakes up every two hours 🙁 I feel ya. I too am SO FUCKING TIRED!
K McDMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 6:11
We lived in a sweet little old house in a coveted part of town with our cool daughter and lived a sweet middle-class life until we found out we were having twins. That’s when our “plan” and standards went down the drain. I had to re-home my large dog, go to super part-time status at work(losing all credibility of the last 10 years), we moved into the provided apartment at my husbands property management job and we’ve been here for a year. Lots of BLESSINGS, but it still totally sucks and blows!
LaceyMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 7:17
Jereann CrowleyMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 8:16
We’ve all been there Janelle in one form or another. Keep at it because even though you can’t always see it or understand it there is a reason you are going in this direction and always remember you and your husband are on the same team. Hold tight to him having a partner is a blessing when times are tough and hope you don’t have to go through it without him ever
lisaeggsMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 8:32
Janelle, I love you. And I hate moving. If you manage to successfully move yourself, your dude, and your three kids to a new abode, I just may do the same with my dude and 3 kids (one day. dreams…). I love how you put “blessings” in quotes, and I love that you write that you may be the one saying more of the ridiculous things. You somehow manage to be charming and bad-ass at the same time, always. Do you have one of those cooking & baby-sitting type of moms? (I’ve heard of those). If so, it might not be so bad for a little while… Hard not to have your own place though. Not that mamas ever really get their OWN space or anything, but you know… Thanks so much for this list from your life. That little Georgie slays me everytime 🙂
HeatherMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 8:49
I agree!!! Lisa said everything I want to say! And that Georgie is a ball of light. You can see it just shine straight out of her! She will change this world! 🙂
jaanaMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 11:02
life is pretty weird.
TiffanyMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 21:01
Great pictures. My 3 yr old daughter has been telling me for a month now that she wants to be “princess poop shoot” for Halloween! Where am I supposed to find that costume?!? I think papa is behind this.
JulesMonday, 28 October, 2013 at 23:40
Just recently found your blog and as a completely stressed out mom of three little ones I am SOOOOOO relating to you!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your life 🙂
Kateri Von StealTuesday, 29 October, 2013 at 6:29
I love her and all her dinosaur AWESOMENESS.
And… even though Klay and I are not married… recently we’ve been really WINNING as well…
Things will workout…
AT least you are far away from that place… and can start making positive steps!
No “it will get better” bullshit…
It will get different… and different shit will happen…
But.. ITS YOUR SHIT… so that makes it acceptable.
🙂 If you can’t accept your shit, whose shit are you supposed to accept? HUH?!?! I blew your mind.. didn’t I