May I have your attention, please? I have an announcement.

by Janelle Hanchett

So I’m not exactly sure how to tell you this, but, um, I’m pregnant.

Yep. You heard that correctly, and no, I’m not joking. And yes, we’re broke and living with my mother and between jobs and unsure where we’ll be in a few months.


Yeah, I know.

If any of you are thinking “But you can hardly handle the three you’ve got.”


But logic has no place in the uterine equation, and when there’s a dude who’s SUPER INEXPLICABLY interested in another baby (at one point he was even like “But you promised me four kids the night we met!” and I was like “BUT I WAS ON ECSTASY MOTHERFUCKER!”) and your friends keep reproducing and there’s baby thighs and chin fat and you’ll be 35 in March and you’re like “but maybe just ONE MORE?” but then all hell breaks loose in your life and you’re all “never mind let’s wait” but then the IUD is already out so you get this app on your iPhone to determine when you’re ovulating and shit but oops, yeah. Baby.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

FYI, iPhone apps are horrible birth control. Tell your teens.

But this should explain my lack of writing and extreme exhaustion. I totally wanted to tell you all sooner, but you’re supposed to wait and shit. And I did wait. I’m 10 weeks now and I’ve known since 5 weeks.

I wanted to announce this to you all in some super cute, Pinterest-y way, but, actually no. I didn’t.

But that got me thinking about pregnancy announcements, which apparently exist, and then I was all “What would mine say if they told the truth?”

So obviously I made a few.

As always, please enjoy the clip art.

And let me just say: There will be bitching about this pregnancy. There will be sentimental slop. There will be a baby by mid-June of 2014 (or my heart hopes).

I’m glad we’re doing this together. It should be fucking interesting.

I’m already crafting a post: “Top 5 stupidest things I’ve read on my Babycenter due date forum.” (Yes, since I didn’t have you people, I ventured over to hell to see what was up and WOW. Now I just go over there for material.)

Please feel free to pin any of these for future ideas.


with so much love,


P.S. So I’m planning another homebirth but since the midwives don’t give you a “confirmation ultrasound” I totally made an appointment with the local women’s health people and lied to the OB/GYN to avoid The Homebirth Lecture to get my ultrasound. I just couldn’t believe it was real. I just wasn’t feeling “connected.”  I wanted to SEE something.

And when I saw the tiny rushing furiously powerful little heart I thought “Oh, yeah, there you are. I knew I loved you.”

And I got excited, and that’s the truth.

Also all of the above. That’s true too. Some things never change, I guess.

P.S.2 REALLY should have made sure I wasn’t going to have another baby BEFORE writing those baby sprinkle/gender reveal party posts because OHMYGOD my friends. Are losing it.

I’m 95% sure I may have both. But they will be ironic. As god as my witness, THEY WILL BE IRONIC.

And you’re all invited.

  • Shan

    I laughed, I cried, I hacked up a lung and peed myself (that last part has nothing to do with you or this post… just saying).

    And I’m totally coming to the gender reveal party!

  • Josey

    LMAO…oh man, congrats. 🙂

  • Michael Ann

    Not sure which of those announcements if my favorite. I think the photo of you flipping the bird! 🙂 Congratulations!!

  • luella

    I could not be more happy and excited about this for you. I’m giddy and we don’t even really know each other

  • Sarah

    I’m a relatively new follower to your blog, but now it looks like I just have uncannily perfect timing. 🙂

  • Stephanie

    At least I can be pregnant vicariously. I would have liked one more. Maybe.

  • Katie @ AMotherThing

    I totally got pregnant while using my iPhone app which was supposed to prevent me getting pregnant again. That sucker was working great for 7 months, and then OOPS. My husband still hasn’t forgiven me. But hey, we have a totally adorable red-haired 9 month old who is all sorts of trouble, and I can’t breathe for the cute.

    So yah – congrats! 🙂 I wish you the least uncomfortable pregnancy in history! But I wished that for myself and it totally didn’t work, so my wish feature seems to be broken.

    • Sally

      Your comment is my favorite.

  • ash

    I am so glad i found you. you are my twin incarnate, but now I will not carry your baby or take on the gas. you are hilarious. congratulations and best wishes!

  • Leigh Ann

    I know this hesitant excitement. When I got pregnant with my 3rd, my twins were only 14 months. I cried for 3 days and felt disconnected for most of the pregnancy. But now she’s 3.5 and pretty much the most awesome kid on the planet, so now I just feel silly for being so weird about it. But those feelings are real and valid!

  • Chelly

    Congrats! This is awesome news! 🙂 can’t wait to read pregnancy hormone posts haha!

  • Heather

    Congrats! Babies are awesome! FYI: when we had our second child, we were broke and living in a 500 square foot in-law apartment attached to my parent’s house. My husband and I slept on a pull out couch in the living room and our son got the bedroom. When the baby came, we put her crib next to us in the living room. And you know what? It was fine. In many ways it was great. Of course my judgy “friends” made me feel like shit about our situation, but it was okay. The four of us were so close there, literally. We liked it. I miss a lot about those days. Hope you have an “easy” pregnancy and, again, congrats on the news!

  • Shayla

    BABY! Congrats mama! My uterus just squealed. Maternal looks good on you.

  • Julie C

    Cracks me up….yes it will be the best thing, but can totally relate to the who the hell thinks I can handle this and their sense of humor is F’ed up! Our we are done with babies 3rd turned into 3 & 4, and while twins while trying to NOT get pregnant may have made me afraid of sex for the rest of my life….they are the best thing to have come along. Congrats!

  • Sarah

    Congratulations on the new baby. That’s wild and awesome.

    I can only speak for myself here but without getting all maudlin and shit, your posts make me feel like there is someone in this world that gets me. I would be remiss in my duty as a human to not tell you that while we are an Internet community we are actually real people who would totally go out of our way to offer support in any way we can to someone who gives so much of herself to us. Baby clothes? Got BOXES of them, toys or baby swings, got them. Any other things we can do? Let us know!!!

  • Dee

    Congratulations! I understand where you’re coming from. I was totally blown away when I realized that I was pregnant with my fourth. It took a long time to reconcile my feelings about it. She’s nearly four now and adds so much to all of our lives.

  • Melissa

    First of all, I don’t see what’s wrong with living with your parents! Back in the day, people lived with their parents forever, or they built a house on their parents’ property, but, the point is. They had a built in community and support! Bring on the modern age and now you’re a loser if you do it. I think that’s bullshit!
    Second of all….CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
    I don’t know you, but I feel like we’re cut from the same cloth and I am super excited for you! We aren’t having anymore of our own, but we want more, so will hopefully begin the adoption process next year. Then, I won’t be jealous of everyone else’s babes!
    Looking forward to all the pregnant posts to come!

  • Jenna

    Congratulations! My daughter just turned 1 and I have been refusing to even think about a 2nd child. However, this post just gave me insane baby fever. Mostly because I want to make a pregnancy announcement that has me flipping the bird to my husband. Nothing like a “hey we’re having another baby” and “fuck you, it’s your fault” moment.

    • Carlisle

      My daughter just turned one as well. I was DETERMINED to wait until she was 18 months to even try, but… my best friend got pregnant in August, and I’ve succumbed to baby fever. (Do it, it’ll be fun ;])

  • Jessie

    Congratulations! Wow! So far four is easier than three (my fourth is nearly threes months old, sucking as I type), so don’t worry! Oh, that newborn breath.

  • lisa

    Yes. Baby breath and rolls and little fingers… try not to puke too much. 🙂

  • Jess

    I love you… You make all of my thoughts about motherhood feel normal. And congrats, also i hope this doesn’t happen to me as we have two and also living with a mom and in between jobs. Supposedly everything happens for a reason 😉

  • cindylu

    Congratulations! Where’s the announcement with the shoes? All the announcements must have shoes and/or a pet claiming it’s gonna be a big brother.

    Can’t wait for your comments on pregnancy forums.

  • Ivey Lamos

    Oh man! Congrats? I think you’re crazy but I look forward to all of your funny pregnancy post. Btw I think you’re beautiful and you should be proud of that amazing baby making body.

  • Sara

    Congratulations! 🙂 Love your honest announcements! 😀

  • Heather

    I do the same thing with the GYN I go to the 20 week for the ultrasound, I just feel more comfortable getting the anatomy scan to plan my home birth better.

  • Kmeemsie

    Thanks to my own moment of insanity, also known as my fourth son, this post made me wet my pants a little bit. Hang in there. It’s a wild ride, but (mostly) totally worth it.

    Also, seriously, what do you need? I’ve got an attic FULL of baby stuff!

    And I can’t wait for the damned reveal party. Whatever and (squealing) OMG!!!


  • Tanya

    Wow, congrats! We have been thinking of having another baby despite our shitty and uncertain life situation, and this post gives me courage!

  • Ennedelia Duncan

    Omg I died laughing at all these. I loved the last pic of the PG Test. That is the exact feeling I had when I found out about number 2 congrats I can’t wait to read about your journey.

  • Ansley

    Forget sprinkles. Come to Alabama….I’ll throw you a hurricane party. Bring the kids and Hottie Husband. It’ll be fun.

  • Marie

    Crap. Now my uterus wants another too. Thanks.

    • melissa


  • Ashley

    You kill me. I love how real and alarmingly raw you are in your posts. I know a lot of people feel or have felt the same way you are feeling right now but are afraid to admit it. Thank you for being other peoples voices as well as your own. Congrats on the baby. He or she will be a wonderful addition to your family!! Can’t wait to read more about it!

  • Roxanna Smith

    as always…thanks for keeping it REAL! and congratulations. no matter what your financial circumstances or living arrangement…you’re sober and your children are loved. XO

  • Heidi

    We had a 5 year old who was making himself lunch, goin to bed easily, fully allowing us the time we needed to devote to late night drinking and sex. Good ol sex. Then I held a baby and my boobs tingled, gave my husband the bedroom eyes, and went temporarily insane. It’s like swearing you can pull the tablecloth from underneath te fully set table with the good china. Well, the china is broken, I haven’t left the house in three months and I now know what baby vomit tastes like. Word. I will admit, it is nice not having the ability or time to give any shits about anything. I haven’t plucked my eyebrows in months, and I forget daily when the last time I took a shower was. But we have Micah. We have baby farts, slobber and baby giggles. It’s worth it. Congratulations sister.

  • Erin

    Janelle, I think the words you say have such a profound impact on so many women, myself included. I wish I would have found your blog when I was preggers. I can’t wait to hear your pregnancy stories and wonder if hubs and I will make the jump again. My uterus is doing back flips thinking of sweet newborn smells and tiny little toes.

  • Pam

    Yahoo!!!! I am so excited for you!!! And pssst guess what, me too! I’m due just a couple weeks before you. I look forward to reading your posts and being happy someone out there has put what I am going to into the perfect words I never could have come up with myself:)

  • erika

    Congrats!!!! and the flippin’ bird pic is the best announcement!

  • Peggy

    Holy shit! Yay! Congrats!

  • dixiebelle

    Congratulations. You horn dogs.

  • Carlisle

    OH MY GOD!!!!!

    OH MY GOD!!!

    I might be pregnant, too!!! Due late July with #2. We’re living with my father. Husband works at walmart. We’re planning on moving back to our homestate in February. I have NO IDEA what we’re going to do with ourselves.

    OH MY GOD!!

    I just love you.

  • Sarah B.

    I love that you’re having another baby. Don’t worry about all the things – having 3 already, living with your mother, whatever – because you’re right. It’s going to be perfect. It has to be. Two months ago my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. He’s 35. So last week at our counselor (of course we’re seeing a counselor – we’re losing our minds), guess what we decided to do. That’s right! Have another baby. We’re fucking nuts. But we need it. I need it. I need more of him. I need to know that our lives aren’t over yet (even though his will likely be vastly shorter than we hoped). I need to know that with or without him, there is a future in this world. And I need some fucking good news! So we rushed to freeze sperm, and now we’re rushing to use it, because he decided that if we’re going to do this, he wants to be in this baby’s life as long as possible. Am I ready? No. Did I want to wait until our first was potty trained and in a big bed and all those things you listed? Yes. But life is stupid and sometimes it doesn’t let you make plans like that. Sometimes it makes you rush to squeeze your whole life into two years because you don’t know if there’s going to be more than that. Anyway, don’t worry about all the things. There’s never a good time to have a baby, but there’s always a good reason.

    And while we’re on the subject, you should definitely have a sprinkle and a gender party and any other stupid party you want. Those things are completely ridiculous and dumb and totally unnecessary. They are also happy. Fuck it. Have a party every damn day. There should be more of that.

    Good luck to you! Maybe I’ll let you know how my “insemination” goes. Yuck. Fingers crossed!

  • Al

    Spare a thought for my mate whose husband had had a vasectomy – she fell pregnant again when her youngest was 14. 14. Husband left until she was able to prove that his vas deferens grew back. Not a joke. I never saw a person cry so much.

    • Lyndsey

      Jeez. Your poor friend. That’s so terrible. I wish there was a way to send hugs to friends of people over the internet, because if there was I would be sending her metric tons.

  • Carlisle

    And, my husband and I decided after the first one, after number 2, he gets a vasectomy… but damn you, for some reason you make 3 (or more) look so strangely fabulous. D: Now, I’m starting to think, well, we could have 3. or 4. :]

  • Kate

    Congratulations Dude, I’m glad there’s a celebrity I actually like that’s knocked up at the same time as me.

  • melissa

    Shit, woman. I was already super envious of your third. Your kids look just enough like mine that it’s like, we might get one like this if we got a girl… But we wouldn’t get a girl. And I’m pushing 40. And my husband says he’s done. And a lot of days I agree with him. And I hate being pregnant.

    I am going to be super ambivalent about this until the day I die. I just know it.

    But anyway. Yay baby! You should invite me to your gender reveal sprinkle! I’m local and I will be non-ironically excited for you, because apparently I am ridiculous like that. Also, I knit baby clothes. Not the church craft sale stuff. We’re talking merino cardis Quinoa would approve of. What do you want? Cables? Stripes? Lace?? And I promise I won’t steal any of your children… Just maybe… sigh over them a little. 😉 <– To show I'm totally aware of how creepy this joke is.

  • Alisha

    Oh, that is RICH. CONGRATULATIONS!! (New commenter, long time lurker. 🙂 )

  • Heather

    YAAAAY!!! You will be wonderful!! I had my 1st baby when I was 17, and my last baby ( I think)…;) When I was 34. It just happens when it happens. I have 4 kids, and each time was different but has it’s own special meaning and place in my heart. <3 I am sending sooo much Love your way dear friend. You will do an AMAZING Job, and life is just going to get better!

  • Carrie

    Perfect. Sounds like I did when I found out I was pregnant with #5. But I love her furiously. Sucks that life is so crazy but it will all work out.

  • Jen Damned

    Totally doesn’t make sense, but BABIES. I get it. And choice due date! Fucking awesome people are born on that day!

  • jennie caminada

    OMG I don’t even know you (but feel like I do sister) and I am SO excited for you. And even though I am single as shit and have even pretty much stopped having sex and my youngest is almost six and I am super busy running my own business and life is good, your post made my womb whisper about how I too could have a fourth baby (like, how?, anyway, what do wombs know). Congratulations. I am sure you will have another awesome kid.

  • annie

    First, congrats. Second, loved the last one.

  • Brinny

    I’m coming out of hiding/lurking mode as a big fan of your blog to say … CONGRATULATIONS!!!
    Also, damn you for making MY uterus be all like “but BABIES” because that is what it’s doing right now.
    We still aren’t sure if we want to try for more than one, or if we are going to take our blessing and keep her our one-and-only. Still, this makes me wanna but pregnancy tests in bulk as a hint to my man…

  • GG

    I’m unreasonably happy that you will be sharing the good, the bad, the ugly with us (and by all means, please do share!). I love your writing and I love the realness. Please please please share your ironic sprinkles with us,

  • Momtothree

    Gosh, J. Wow, like … that’s great. I think. I hope the pregnancy goes well, and congratulations and all. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t stop writing. I bet Rocket is hoping for a brother …

  • sonia

    ^what they all said.

  • Cath

    Fucking Awesome!

    Well done you cheeky uterus. Looking forward to many a gruesome detail Janelle.

  • lisaeggs

    I think you do a damn fine job with those three beautiful kids of yours, and hell, you and your husband are already outnumbered so why not welcome in #4? I wish I could come to your sprinkle!!! I love you Janelle and I’m really happy for you 🙂

  • Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife


    Our second was a complete surprise. I had an app and I paid attention to all my signs and still got knocked up. Meh, our son is totally worth it. 🙂

  • Becoming SuperMommy

    Your announcements are too hilarious. Mazel tov. 🙂

  • Bake

    CONGRATULATIONS!!! So loving your honesty! Look forward to more posts 🙂

  • Jocelyn Brown

    Congrats! I love your blog and I’m super happy for you.

  • Lisa

    congratulations 🙂

  • Ana

    As I await a few more weeks to see if my eggo is preggo, I send you congratulations through rage, ooey gooey love, and sudden waterworks. BABY!!! And I love your birth announcements. Totally made my day!

  • Joëlle

    Contrats!!! A baby is never a mistake. I’m 11 weeks pregnant. Due June 1st. I’m excited to read your thoughts during the next months. And as one of these announcement says: I’ve bit hit by a fucking truck! But hey I’m having a baby;)

  • Renee

    Congrats Janelle! I can’t wait to follow your journey – it should be a great ride!

  • Sam C.

    Okay, so I’m relatively new here and have never commented before. I started reading your blog when I was about 8 months pregnant and I saw a link to your post about stupid women sharing terrible birth stories. It was very timely for me and I promptly sent it to all the pregnant ladies in my life (there are a lot of them). My baby is now three months old and I have ventured here often to get a sane perspective on this whole crazy parenting thing. I peruse your blog while I’m breastfeeding my baby or while I’m in bed at night and I don’t want to turn on a light for fear of waking the beast, but I know that the light from my iPhone won’t bother her. Like many of the comments I’ve read from your followers, I’ve laughed out loud, cheered you on while you go off about subjects that I’m RIGHT THERE with you on, and generally felt that in your blog I’ve found someone who GETS IT. Sometimes I read parts of your blog to my husband because I’m laughing so hard he starts to look at me funny, and because I hope he gets it too, but I kind of think he doesn’t. Anyway, this announcement made me so happy I almost got all wiggly/giddy. I’m stoked for you, even though I don’t really know you. So that’s it really, I’m a fan, and I’m excited for you (and a little for me because I think reading what you have to say about this pregnancy is going to be entertaining for me). Congrats!

  • Carlisle

    ALSO, I know I’ve already commented on this like 4 times, but I’m using your “my uterus was like, ‘but, BABIES'” line whenever someone asks me if I’m crazy. and my pregnancy announcement will be the last one.

  • Tina

    Oh, you crazy mofo! But you’re crazy in a good way. And brave. Amazingly brave. I sort of want a third child, but then I’m like “I’m already shite with the two I have, so it probably isn’t a good idea”. But then I’m like “But I want to experience this whole pregnancy thing again, and another home birth” (call me crazy)but then I’m like “Do you really want to put more people into this shitty world?” And then I think “New house, new baby – it happened last time we moved!” But, I don’t know. I just admire you, you’re my hero. I wish you an amazing pregnancy and can’t wait to live through it with you – virtually.

  • Rose

    congratulations and awesome post! X

  • Louise

    I found your blog on a random google search about not enjoying playing with my kid. So you can guess which lost I read first. I fucking loved it, so much so that I promptly went all the way back to your first post and spent the last week staying up late so I could read right the way through (creepy stalker style). I just arrived here and how timely – what a great post to finish on. Congrats on baking number 4. I am excited and petrified for you.
    I also wanted to say thank you so much for doing you and being real.
    UNTIL I READ YOUR BLOG I THOUGHT I WAS BROKEN. <- serious capitals for emphasis.
    I have had no luck finding mums who are (able to admit to) feeling the negative aspects of the mother role. I don't get the cute and I certainly spend my time thinking that I am the weird one… none of which will change but reading your stuff has made me feel like I am part of a group of awesome women who are rocking on being real and loving the living snot out of their kids even when the job is way more than they bargined for.
    I am going to stop now cause I think I am rambling – all that just to say thank you!!

  • sara

    Quiet, but faithful stalker of your blog (hmmm, sounds creepy). Anywho, so happy for you! Yay for babies! Anytime. Every time. Always. Can’t wait to follow the journey 🙂

  • Tiffiny Schwartz

    I’d say congratulations but that annoyed the fuck out of me before I was out of my first tri, that and the are you so excited question. Yea I was but even if I wasn’t I couldn’t say that because then people would think I was a dick. I am sooo happy for you and have to say that I am a firm believer that our babies choose us to be their parents (fucked up, I know).

  • Diana

    Congratulations!! And may your impending pregnancy posts be just the nudge I need to NOT add a fourth to our out of control brood. Keep ’em real and keep ’em coming because baby breath is a hard thing to say no to.

  • Mel

    I am both shocked and delighted; much how I was about my own pregnancy 2 years ago. Also, my uterus has been saying “but babies” to me for 8 months now. It’s just so hard, though, when you’re single, celibate (not by choice!) and pushing 40. So I’m totally going to live vicariously through you, on the other side of the world. That’s not weird is it? Plus, how fucking funny are some of the comments here? I love the interwebs for bringing us together and you for being the conduit Janelle. Huge congrats to you and Mac on bub #4!!

  • Sassy Kas

    ok this is weird but the hair on the back of my neck is standing up and I have goosebumps all over. I was reading one of your posts a couple weeks ago and thought to myself “I WONDER IF SHE’S PREGNANT.” I am so happy for you! Another bit of stardust brought to earth via YOU! Be happy with this pregnancy, you are cooking up another good one; multi-generational households are the way of the future; self-sufficiency in not sustainable. I am so looking forward to hearing about this much welcomed baby over the next few months!

  • Stacy

    Ok, so this is the pregnancy announcement post I would have written for myself. Almost have the same due date, even. Except when you’re pregnant with #5 and you’re me, there apparently isn’t time for anything but puking in the sink and sleeping. So then I shared this and we’ll see how many people get it.

  • Jill

    I had three all 2 years apart, then I realized after the third I was in over my head. Well life straightens out, everyone is sleeping, in school,everything is running smoothly, then my husband wants a fourth. Let me tell you it is awesome having another little baby, he is 9 month now. I thought I was so done with babies that it makes doing this again all so amazing, and an awesome surprise.

    I do get the oh shit feeling when I think upon what is a head of me. That day they take off their poopy diaper and smear it around, sitting up and vomiting rather than heading to the toilet, 2 year old temper tantrums. All totally worth it to get to do this again. They are so squishy, and cute, and smell good, my goodness I would have 4 million babies if it didn’t mean I would have 4 million kids! Congrats I am excited for you! Our situations sound a little similar with the being done at 3 husband talking us into another. I always tell my husband that having a 4th baby was the best idea he every had 🙂

  • A Pleasant House

    Well, congratulations! You silly thing… and PLEASE have a Sprinkle Party and blow the top off will ya.

  • Mandy

    I’m pretty sure you’re taking this better than if I found out I was pregnant again so congrats!

  • Lyndsey

    Yay for babies! Congrats, and thanks. For being you, for sharing your life with us, and for making us feel like we are not alone in the world, that motherhood doesn’t have to be Martha Stewart meets June Cleaver, that we aren’t weird or wrong for wanting to be ourselves and also mothers. Thank you.

  • Anne

    Congrats. you are awesome. I am about to pop with my first which is… terrifying. I wish I had thought to post a bump pic with flipping off the bird to the audience. YEAH.
    Ps babycentre isnt that bad.. but you do get some zany concepts. BUT, I have learned a lot on there. 🙂

  • Corinne

    HOLY FUCK!!!!! Go Momma can’t wait to read this journey!!!! Congrats

  • Liz

    CONGRATS! Our third was a “surprise”. She is now 8 mo. and we are still struggling through our nights and days. It is hard- but they are so damn cute and lovable! There is not much that compares to holding a sleeping baby. I look forward to reading about your journey.

    Also- yay for homebirth- I did it with my second.
    (I went the drug route with my third- I was just to exhausted and decided I needed to give myself a break!)

  • Jenn

    You are hilarious I have 4 kids ages 14-7 I love them all but showed at the thought of being pregnant with number4. hahaha. Nice to know I’m not the only one. Congrats!

  • Tiffany

    I’m a new follower. And I love this news.

    Because I know for a fact that unplanned babies are special. Not that all babies aren’t special, but there’s something about an unplanned one that saves you when you didn’t know you needed saving.

    Because my own unplanned baby showed up 18 months after my second planned baby, like a freight train with a two-hour labor and leaving the littles at home with the bigs because I couldntwaitonemoresecondtoleaveorthisbabyiscomingoutofmeathome.

    And then the unplanned baby who has no name because nothing felt right all those weeks of pregnancy comes along with a knot in her cord and every person within a mile of the place you give birth comes in to exclaim and lay eyes on that baby who had a true knot and wasn’t an emergency birth. And her name is born out of a sermon you remember about how much God loves us and gives us life because he loves us and its a MIRACLE that your baby is in the 1% of babies born with a knot that lives.

    My unplanned baby was number 6. She was only the 3rd to be born out of my uterus, born 15 months after we inherited three nephews because their real mom couldn’t get it together for them.

    My unplanned baby will be my last baby because my husband freaked out and I caved and got my tubes tied because otherwise he might never have had sex with me again.

    And I want another unplanned baby. And another pregnancy that comes along and reminds me what a miracle these tiny creatures are on days when they are batshit insane and I want to scream and lock them all in a room together to watch barney and eat ice cream forever and ever if they will JUST SHUT UP.

    So congrats, dude. Happy baby growing.

  • Kasey Jackson

    Well, first off. Congratulations.
    Second off, fucking love uterus and babies.
    I found your blog about Caillou’s rant and have since been hooked.
    btw; Caillou is banned in our house now too. I couldn’t figure out where my kid learned “oopsie! I DIDN’T MEAN TO!”
    hush child. yes you did. And it’s so damn cute… bah.
    But i truly appreciate you being real about motherhood.
    Until you Janelle I thought something was wrong with me for seriously HATING mothering at times. I’ve thought maybe I should cut back work or quit school again so I could spend more time with them and make myself enjoy it. I realized that was a complete joke and I should try to enjoy them later. When I don’t have so much on my plate, and can actually afford to feed them without any help.
    and also. I used the iphone app birth control too! Apparently when your iphone breaks so does your birth control. shoulda kept an otterbox on that bitch.
    … maybe. 😉

  • Marynutbar

    This is my first time reading your blog, and you got pregnant! How could this have happened when it’s only the first time? I Love it, I love your honest snarkyness and it makes me feel less alone. I have 4 kids: 7, 4, 2.5 and 1….so you can imagine my level of insanity and brokeness. My 2.5 is WILD just like your Gracie…his name is Petey and he is a firecraker born on the 4th of July. I got my tubes tied after the last one cause my body was still screaming for more! I am 37 and very tired, can’t wait to read more of your posts. It’s about time!!! THANK YOU!

  • Grace

    Congrats!! There is no logic to this love shit! I just swore half an hour ago that my daughter was definitely going to be an only after an hour long tantrum broke my remaining shred of sanity, but here I am half an hour later thinking about the amazingness of it all. I am sure you will look back and laugh at this crazy time in years to come and in the meanwhile sharing the ride helps the rest of us maintain a sense of humour 🙂 Thanks for your undeserving honesty the world needs more of it!!

  • Grace

    ..woops ‘unswerving’ honesty, autocorrect fail!

  • steffums

    • renegademama

      Are you expecting a baby in June 2014? I’m actually a member of that forum — I should “out” myself but I don’t want to. There’s no fun in that. xoxo
      Anytime my stuff gets shared on Babycenter the backlash is AMAZING. They hate me. All mainstream mothering types hate me. But when they don’t, it’s immediate camaraderie. the misfits must stick together, you know. 🙂

  • Elizabeth

    Congrats! I totally get expecting when life’s circumstances are less then perfect. We are expecting number 10 mid July while my husband awaits back surgery. Oh, and I’m totally thrilled to find another homebirthing family. We’re kinda the odd family amongst our friends. We had a home birth with number 9 and will never go back. Best experience ever!

  • taliface

    I just found your blog at the beginning of the year. i’m due on June 4 with my first kiddo. I love your voice and look forward to “sharing” pregnancy with you 🙂

  • Caitlin

    Broke, living with your mom, in-between jobs and pregnant with your 4th? How about broke, living off student loans, had a baby in the middle of vet school, that baby is only 4 months old and you’re STILL in the middle of vet school but you think you WANT 4 kids maybe and hey, you just turned 35, so let’s try again right now! And by you, of course I mean me (and my husband because we have the same crazy). High five!

  • Leticia Chavez

    Thank you for your honest post! I absolutely loved it! I’m 8 weeks pregnant with child #5. Our others are 18,16,14 and 9. This came as an unexpected surprise for us too. Please keep the posts coming and thank you for keeping it real!