- If I were a good blogger, I would publish a post at 6am on the day I want it to go out, because I would have written it the day before, especially if it’s a recurring post, such as, oh I don’t know, a weekly Sunday post (you know, because I could plan it and such).
- But…I am a bad blogger. Because sometimes (not like now of course) I write posts barely under the wire when I’m so exhausted my eyes are burning and I feel slightly stunted mentally – not to mention a little nervous to write anything for fear of what sort of insane drivel will exit my mouth, possibly resulting in the end of civilization as we know it. See what I mean?
- This is not because I don’t love you.
- This is because my life makes Lord of the Flies look organized.
- There’s something I have never told you. It’s very personal so I’m sure you can understand my hesitance. Anyway, I feel secure in telling you now since we know each other so well: at some point in my young life I acquired Auto-Immune Hippie Disease. This is a sad state of affairs manifesting itself through chronic attendance at jam-band music festivals involving former members of the Grateful Dead, and crying while there, during certain songs Jerry Garcia used to sing.
- There is no known cure. It’s very sad. I’ll be writing a Facebook post about it very soon, urging people to take action against this debilitating condition and possibly asking for donations.
- Did you notice I said “young” life? Did you see that? Yeah. That’s because I ain’t old. I’m only 32 years old. This is information I’d like to share with the fuckers who keep calling me “m’am.” It is not my problem you’re 19 and therefore think I’ve rounded the bend and should probably just go ahead and jump in the pine box now because any attempt at life at this point is really just kinda gloomy (though we admire your optimism!)…anyway, the thing is young Jedi, most of the time, 19 is just a fancy 12, AND in just a few short years you (yes YOU) are going to be pushing 35 and looking around wondering wtf happened to the last 10 years and some asshat is going to call you “m’am” and you’re gonna hate it, home slice. hate it. So have a little perspective.
- I need to get okay with m’am thing. I mean I already wrote a whole blog post about it. And yet, I’m still annoyed. Every time I hear it I feel a little jarred. Like “huh? Me?” And then I realize Oh yes, damn. Me.
- Okay but seriously. I will never forget standing at the Monterey County Fairgrounds singing “Friend of the Devil” with my little girl and boy and dad and stepmom and husband – dancing with them in their new super-hero peace sign and lightning capes. I told you, it’s a disease. Don’t judge.
- At least only the kids got capes. I call that improvement, friends. Perhaps I’m in remission.
I miss Jerry.
He would have approved of these:
Oh and check this out. Video of the show we were at, last night, when they sang “Friend of the Devil.” Thank you, You Tube and hippies.
Michael Ann RileySunday, 9 October, 2011 at 21:59
Ha! You Dead Head you. Never been into them but I respect those who are. I am a fan of Mickey Hart’s social and musical activities. I am somewhat of a hippie girl though and love the music jams. Love the kids’ capes!
Kateri Von StealMonday, 10 October, 2011 at 4:51
I’m 27… and look like a teenager still.. but, if I have my work clothes on, and Emry in the shopping cart, this is an instant success of being called m’am… and it freaks me out.
One boy, roughly my age’ish (had to be over 18 but below 28.. you can never tell age anymore… boys get facial hair like real men now a days)… so this dude, called me M’am, and I looked at him and said, “Do I really look like a m’am to you?”
He stuttered, I took that as a yes. Paid for my groceries and left.
I love the peace cape. so cool.
kimMonday, 10 October, 2011 at 6:13
Did you know that most of my students are 18-19? You nailed it with that age being a “fancy 12”. Seriously, so perfect.
NeeneeMonday, 10 October, 2011 at 10:05
Such a fun time & a great show. I tried to find the song list but failed. My favorites were Franklin’s Tower and Comes a Time. Thanks for sharing the night with us.
SaraMonday, 10 October, 2011 at 10:33
When I was 8, my sis-in-law and I used to put kitchen towels around are necks as “capes” and run around the house when my parents weren’t home. Still one of my fave memories to this day.
JenniferMonday, 10 October, 2011 at 14:19
I literally laughed out loud when I read, “Auto-Immune Hippie Disease.” Music festivals are so much fun. However, being called ma’am isn’t.
MelanieTuesday, 11 October, 2011 at 9:47
Not to be the bearer of bad news, but as the years fly by it quickly goes to “Would you like the senior discount, ma’am?” That happened to me for the first time in my forties. AYEEEEEE!!!
StaceyTuesday, 11 October, 2011 at 18:44
I find the jeans and hoodie look takes off 10 years.