This week…I scratched my eyes out and went to a concert.

by Janelle Hanchett
  1. So the freeways lately have been featuring these giant electronic signs that say “Texting ticket, $159,” and then beneath that it says “Not worth it.” And every time I see that I’m like “oh, good, thanks for putting that last part in there because I wasn’t sure about the message you were trying to convey. I thought maybe you were trying to tell me what a good deal it is.” Dude wah?
  2. Pretty much every time I’m walking into the gym I’m thinking “Damn I don’t feel like doing this,” but I have YET to walk out (after having actually exercised) and think to myself “Damn I wish I hadn’t done that.”
  3. The gym is pretty cool that way.
  4. You know, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Getting unfriended on Facebook would be a LOT MORE FUN if the person were required to give you a reason. Don’t you think?
  5. I got unfriended by like 3 people this week. I think it was the homeschool post. Maybe? Oh I don’t fucking know (because FB is all obsessed with TIMELINES and shit and completely misses the boat when it comes to important things – like requiring a 1-sentence explanation of why you’re unfriending somebody. or maybe a questionnaire!). Of course, the fact that I have no idea WHO it is that unfriended me probably indicates that I’ll survive the whole ordeal (I just noticed the numbers). But really. That would be hysterical…”I unfriended you because you say “fuck” too much.” “I unfriended you because you’re too liberal.” “Your husband looks like this dude I used to know and I hated him.” or whatever.
  6. Anyhoo, I would like to cordially invite the horrid scorching summer days to please come my way. I need the death of pollen. I need the plants to wither. I WANT TO RIP MY FACE OFF. Worst allergies I’ve ever had in my life. I say that every year, but I mean it this time.
  7. Grad school is over this week. Then it’s summer. That’s some good stuff. Except that all 3 kids will be around ALL DAY LONG and I’ll have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide and it’ll be hot. But it’s summer. And it’s better than this springtime shit.
  8. I’m 90% sure that we’ve sat down together as a family for an actual family meal about 4 times in the last 6 months. I don’t love that. I really don’t. I’m blaming it on baseball practice and games – as opposed to any deficiency on my part as a mother. Yes, let’s go with that.
  9. Last night we went to a Black Keys concert in Sacramento. It was amazing. Hands down one of the 10 best shows I’ve ever seen in my life. Real rock and roll. A dying art.
  10. Also, because I’m an amazing mother who makes sure her family eats together every night AND gets stimulating playtime, I made Georgie a white-trash water play table (pictured below). Yes, indeed it is a pan of water with a bunch of plastic and metal utensils placed on a rusty outdoor chair. No, nobody’s putting that shit on Pinterest. But OMGdoesSHELOVEIT. Precious.

Have a great week, all.

white-trash water table

at the concert. fun.

12 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | May 6, 2012
  • Beth

    I love your honesty, say fuck as much as you want. It says it all.

  • Eddie

    I’d love to see reasons! Hell, I’d love to GIVE reasons. They should definitely implement that. Maybe at the same time as they get rid of the bleeping timeline.

  • Jennifer

    White Trash Water Table — it’s like you are in my backyard.

  • Marisa

    Not that I plan on doing this, because I so look forward to all of your posts, if I de-friend you, I will give you a reason. 😉 There should be some sort of questionnaire!

    My hubby has horrible allergies, it is awful! I never really understood how bad allergies could be until I started living with him. I hope it’s summer soon too!

  • Jackie

    THIS was a link I posted on my facebook wall last week: LOVING this blog lately. The honesty and unpretentiousness of this mom makes me seriously love her…so refreshing when us moms admit to things being hard, or not liking things about being a mom. Halleluiah Renegade Mama.
    Then it was a post to your home school blog.
    One of my mom friends wrote: “That’s awesome lol”
    And my other friend, who teaches bradley natural childbirth classes and is a totally hippy wrote: “she is awesome – thanks Jackie, I’d never seen this blog before (and I seriously think she should JUST go to plays with her kid, and turn that ‘school’ room into a greenhouse or something)
    Long story short, keep up the f’words pulease. Us liberal types are cheering you on up here in Alberta.

  • Carrera

    I have said the EXACT SAME THING about the unfriending on Facebook. Often, I’ll look through my Friends list and try to scout out who it was, and then try to “think logically” as to why they felt the need to do it. It just drives me insane in the end.

  • Jennelle

    My kid loves the white trash water table. Hell, she doesn’t even get a table… she gets a towel on the ground, scatter with a metal tray, a plastic container and a bunch of random cups, spoons and whatnot. I didn’t think of funnels… must find a funnel.

  • Shan

    Yes, yes and YES! Can’t expound on this now, I’ve got to get back to work.

  • Laurie

    Guess what I’m going to go do right now? Make a white-trash water table for my my 3yo and 17 mo. They will get drenched (and it’s still pretty cool in Seattle), but then I might get off the computer and actually homeschool my kids. I’m so so so so DONE with this school year! 🙂

  • Maia

    Love the water table. We have one that looks about the same in the back yard. Marly thinks its great and it actually seems to amuse her for 2 minutes.

  • Jessica

    I saw this on pinterest and immediately thought of you. Im hoping this isnt too weird, since i dont actually know you and all.
    Its a parenting journal. Go see.

    • Jessica

      Oh, and I’m totally going to pin the white-trash water table 🙂