This week…a card! A real card! (and the next state of irritation)

by Janelle Hanchett

What I learned this week…

  1. Okay so I totally don’t remember this week. AGAIN. I do, however, remember yesterday, mostly because it was Mother’s Day. Ya see that? That’s what you call “on it.”
  2. I had a wonderful day – spent it with a shitload of family members at my grandmother’s house. Plus, after years of explaining to my husband that on Mother’s Day he has to: 1.) be home; 2.) buy me something; and 3.) make me coffee – it appears he has finally figured it out. Go Mac.
  3. I used to do this thing where I would not tell Mac what I wanted (though I would punish him greatly for not knowing) because I thought he should “just know” and that by telling him, I was somehow belittling the romance or sincerity of the act. Then I hit Stage 3 and realized it was never going to happen any other way, which means I would spend every holiday for the next fifty years pissed off and sad, and I realized that for some reason, the man doesn’t value notes on cards as much as his wife does — so I shared with him (GASP) that I like getting little notes and it means a lot to me, so please, do it. Fucker. And now, ELEVEN YEARS LATER, he writes me things like this on Mother’s Day: “You have made our house a home and have raised beautiful children. Thank you for being you. I love you, Mac.” And it feels very good, and sincere. Mostly. You know, enough.
  4. I have a feeling #3 may deserve a blog post all of its own – that thing we do where we don’t tell partners what we need but destroy them when they don’t figure it out. Oh come ON. I am not the only one that does that.
  5. Am I?
  6.  Thank you for your nice comments on the Time Magazine post. I read that Time crap and had it rolling in my head for 2 whole days – over and over and over – through the night, in the shower, while driving – and I just didn’t know what I wanted to say, though I knew something had to be said. And then I just figured “well, something’s in there…” and I sat down and started writing. Fifteen minutes later that thing was written and I gotta say, I felt liberated and kind of empowered – it’s like my little motherhood manifesto. Your responses made my day. Truly. I don’t always respond to every comment (okay fine I pretty much never do), but please know that I read them and reread them and they mean a TON to me, and keep me writing. It is only a lack of time that keeps me from writing back religiously.
  7. So today I was on campus with Rocket (long story) and we were outside. I was introducing him to a couple people I know. He mumbled “hello,” then almost immediately noticed a couple trees nearby with excellent climbing potential. In a flash, he was gone. Climbing the trees. I love it when they climb the trees. They never seem happier and healthier than when they are climbing trees.
  8. Today Rocket was suffering from allergies and I attempted to console him by saying “Well, they’ll be gone soon.” To which he responded “yeah, we’ll get through this and then just enter the next state of irritation.”
  9. How the hell did I raise such a little cynic? It must be his dad’s fault.
  10. However, I couldn’t have said it better myself. “The next state of irritation.” Awesome.

Happy day-late Mother’s Day to the best mothers I know (well, cyber know – but still).

Okay I realize this picture is old, and Ava’s hand is cut off, but it’s one of my most favorite pictures EVER of the first two kids. And so, in honor of mother’s day, I’m putting it up. And then there’s a picture of Georgie in a bike helmet in a red tub, which also doesn’t suck.

Ava and Rocket in front of a redwood tree.

Safety First.



7 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | May 14, 2012
  • kim

    Next stage of irritation? Is he for real? I fucking love your kids.

  • Julia

    my friend used to do that until once I told her – just tell him you’d like to get flowers. He was so pissed and insulted I don’t think he bought her flowers for a year. But for the rest of us, with normal husbands, I think they appreciate a hint or two as long as we give them the appreciation and credit they need in return.

  • meagan

    #4 happens 50 times a day, and then i feel bad for the poor guy, until he causes the next stage of irritation, hehehehe

  • Alycia

    #5….nope!! I’ve been dropping hints for a cruise to Greece and a 7 carat diamond ring for years!! And still, here I sit, no peeling skin from a sunburn from Greece and no carpal tunnel in my wrist. *sigh*

    Maybe I should be more specific. 😉

  • Jackie

    No, we all do it. I did the same as you with the cards and now I receive MANY cards for all sorts of occasions. Small step for man, giant leap for wifekind.
    The Time thing…it really got me too…I’ve been all over the place emotionally about it for SO many reasons, most of them bitter about people who breastfeed at all because I couldn’t, and when I couldn’t, I realized I didn’t want to. But it was only ever okay to SAY that I couldn’t, not that I hated it. I don’t have boobs, never did. Not even while pregnant. No boobies. So boobs, I didn’t want them, I hated them, and I sucked at using them (including putting them in “bras” (what are THOSE?) and running with them, etc, etc). Anyways, long story short is we tape SNL and watch it Sunday night (because we’re lame and go to bed at 10pm) and when I saw the news portion tearing apart that article, all was better. I was at peace for the most part. Thank you SNL for putting things in perspective!!

  • Carrera

    “The next stage of irritation.” He’s 6, right? Amazing.

    Also, I love watching kids climb trees too. This weekend I watched as my cousin and his friends climbed a tree and could not have enjoyed it more. Seeing as he has a freakin’ library of DVDs and video games, it gave me great hope that childhood and real-life fun has not escaped him.

  • Shan

    Not sure how I missed this, except that I sometimes do miss things. Have I ever said that I love your kids? I do.