What I learned this week…crocheting, pause buttons, guilt-free mothering.

by Janelle Hanchett


  1. There should be a universal law that mothers can’t get sick. It should be like gravity – an unbreakable law. I got sick yesterday morning with a fever and aches and sore throat, and yes, though it’s just a little cold, my life doesn’t stop for anything – and it’s freaking miserable. Ya know? I know you feel me on this one.
  2. Either mothers shouldn’t get sick or there should be a “Pause” button for life.
  3. On Saturday, Ava taught Mac and me how to crochet. She taught Rocket how to finger knit. I thought that was pretty cool. So yesterday, when I wasn’t attempting to sleep, we were all sitting around knitting and crocheting and I felt like a really crunchy family.  Then I remembered she learned that at her hippie school and I felt less crunchy, since I had no idea how to do that until she showed me.
  4. Have I mentioned that there is ALWAYS something under my feet? I mean like, IN THE WAY? It’s actually quite spectacular. Between the flailing 6-year-old, the needy-ass dog, the purring cat, and the SUPER CURIOUS TODDLER, I am almost always tripping over some live member of this household. I’ll be honest, I don’t love it.
  5. I read a blog post this morning about a mother who was trying to deal with leaving her kids alone with their grandparents for ONE night – for the first time in seven years. When I read things like this I immediately wonder if there is something profoundly wrong with me, since I count down the days until my youngest is big enough to be abandoned and when that day comes, I BOLT FULL SPEED OUT OF THE HOUSE without worry, guilt or remorse. While gone, I enjoy my time thoroughly and may or may not devise plans to stay gone forever. Okay that last part was an exaggeration, but the rest is not.
  6. I mean what the hell is gonna happen to them? They’re with their grandparents. Even if they do scream and wail all night or wake up vomiting or whatever…who the hell cares? It’s ONE NIGHT. They’ll survive. And if something really deadly was happening, I WOULD COME HOME.
  7. Dude, seriously what’s wrong with me? Does anybody else think it’s not that big of a deal to leave kids with their grandparents every now and then?  Why don’t I worry about this shit? Should I be worrying? I just don’t get this parenting thing.
  8. Mac and I went away for one night in December for our 10th anniversary – Georgia was 16 months old – she stayed with Mac’s parents – we went to dinner and a concert in Santa Cruz…and… IT WAS GLORIOUS. While I hoped it went well for the sake of her grandmother, I was not in the least preoccupied or worried that some catastrophic disaster would befall us or her. Rather, I freaking enjoyed myself. I mean shit, are parents really expected to never leave their kids again? HUH? SEVEN YEARS? Whoa.
  9. Okay I’m done with that. I’m learning to let things go, at least a LITTLE faster. Speaking of fast, Georgia has reached mind-blowing ambulatory speeds. She goes as fast as her little legs will move and it’s like she’s just tumbling forward with this crazy momentum. It’s way freaking cute. She falls a lot.
  10. I don’t worry about that either.
  11. Oh, and more thing. A few weeks ago we were getting out of our car at a friend’s house with the kids and baby when this woman and man walked by with their dogs. The woman stopped and said “Hi! Would you mind if our dogs met your kids – we’d like to see how they do around children.” And I look at her slightly baffled and say “Um, your dogs have never been around kids?” She says “No, and we’d like to see how they do.” And I’m all “You want to TRY YOUR DOGS OUT ON MY KIDS?” When I said it I looked at her and snarled and cocked my head to one side like “HUH?” and “Go away you fucking asshat.” And she did.

People are so weird. This woman asked if I’d use my kids as guinea pigs so she could learn about their socialization level. What did she expect me to say “Oh, yes please! I’d love for your dog to rip my toddler’s face off – since it’s in the name of learning, it’s obviously worth it!”


Anyhoo, have a great week, all.

13 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | January 30, 2012
  • Rebekah C

    A) You’re completely right, the universe definitely should have a rule about mothers getting sick. It should go double for pregnant mothers.
    B) Uh…seven years? I thought my year or so with each kid was horrifying long. Ugh. No. No when I am lucky enough to get a night away from my kids all night I live. it. up. I have a phone, if there is a problem, I’ll come home but until then, I know they are safe and I’m going to enjoy every second of nobody knocking on me, shouting my name, whining or being underfoot.

  • Marisa

    Seven years?! This mother must be a huge control freak. She must need to be in control of her children at every second of the day. Her poor husband, or whoever. Unless the grandparents are in a nursing home, I’m pretty sure they’ll survive. They will probably really enjoy themselves, with out their control freak of a mom.

  • Erin

    Let the record show that I have left my girls with my mom 2 or 3 times now (I don’t really remember). But in two weeks we are going away WITH my parents and I am leaving them with my in-laws and while I KNOW they are totally safe and will live and all that, I don’t WANT to leave them, not one bit. Nope. I want to be my little babes as much as possible until that time comes when I want to bolt. So it is so hard to leave them. *sigh*

  • Brianne

    Seriously? The dog people wanted to try out the dogs with your kids? How did refrain from ripping that person’s head off? As a double dog owner and new mom even I KNOW that’s freakin’ not cool. Dog people that think dogs are babies/people are wackos.

  • Holly Mackenzie Cupp

    There is always something under my feet too or right behind me so I when I step back bam Jayda falls on her butt and then my 2 year old giggles and tells me Mommy move your butt. and then giggles even more because he said “butt” I step forward and trip on a toy and ram my knee into the wall while trying to avoid the dog as I jump up and down saying shhh….eet fudge ouch and the cat goes running like a spaz between my legs because the stomping commotion is freaking him out.

  • Kateri Von Steal

    Being Sick Stinks.

    As a mom, it is a rule to trip over the living things in your home.

    Guinea Pigs for her dogs… oh man, that woman needs to be tested out with dogs that are used to fighting… just to see how the dogs do.

    Great post.

    Love it.

    7 years with your kids.
    1 night away?
    and she’s freaking out.
    I run away as fast as I can, whenever I can… WE ARE ALLOWED BREAKS TOO!

  • Megan

    Ummmm my mom watches my kids OVERNIGH twice a month.

    Obviously I have no problem leaving my kids with people I trust.

  • Michael Ann

    Sorry you are sick! No kidding, moms do not have TIME to be sick. And one one takes care of YOU! That has always really been hard.

    I would definitely agree that mom has control issues. It has nothing to do with loving her kids. We all love our kids. I wonder how her marriage is? Ok, that wasn’t nice. But really. I know first-hand, not taking time away from the kids and spending it alone with your hubby is NOT good for the relationship.

    It’s GOOD for the kids too, to be under someone elses watch. They learn to trust other adults and they gain independence.

  • Jennifer

    I can’t imagine going 7 years without at least a night to ourselves. My 7-year-old can practically run this house if he wanted to…maybe she was using her kid to watch the grandparents?

  • Dee

    I trip over something or someone many times a day. Many. times. My boys spent the weekend at their grandparent’s house last week. Now I may have to pretend to like my in-laws so that it happens every weekend. I’ve been at this gig too long to not have any time off!

  • Brandon

    The worst is knocking one of the kids over because you’re holding the other one and can’t see that she stepped in front of you. It’s like a double whammy. “You’re holding my sister instead of me and you knocked me over. Worst dad ever.” Then the crying.

    Also not leaving your kids with their grandparents even once in 7 years? That seems a little unfair to the grandparents. I know my and my wife’s parents love having our girls. And to not trust them and withhold an overnight with them is just a dick move. Cede control just once people!

  • Heather

    Wow 1 time..7 years….. I must be a horrible mom then. My kids get to see my parents once a month since we live in MS and they live in MO. So for 2 weeks in the summer and 1 week during Christmas break they go spend it with my folks. They have a BLAST. They get special “field trips” as my 3 year old calls it. Movies, ice cream for breakfast you name it. I turned out alright so why shouldn’t I trust my kids with them. Unless there was some kind of abuse or they are not mentally all there why would you deny the grandparents that time. My parents ask on every phone call when they get the kids again. My daughter who is now 15 has been from Canada to Texas and several places in between with them. She has had some great opportunities that I couldn’t give her because I had to work. She was so well traveled that when she got the chance to go to Costa Rica this past summer with her Spanish 2 class, sure I worried about the whole in another country thing. But did not worry one bit about her being homesick or not being able to travel without me.

  • Alycia

    please Please PLEASE tell me that you called that lady an asshat and didn’t just think that in your head!! That is awesome and what a dumb shit she is for gambling with the safety of your kids so she could experiment with her dogs.

    I think 7 years is a bit much to have never left your kids overnight. I call shenanigans on her. What a crazy.