In honor of your birthday, I made a Pros and Cons list. About you.

by Janelle Hanchett

When I was a kid, or maybe an adolescent (is there really a difference?), somebody once told me I should write a “pros and cons” list about people I date, so I can determine if they’re the “right guy” or “the one.”

In other words, if I should keep him or bag him.

I never did that, probably because for me, “dating” was something like “meet in bar, drink, wake up next day, wonder what I was thinking, leave.”

Well, there were some long relationships, but the only real difference between those and the short-term ones is that the “what was I thinking” stage lasted longer.

But I digress.

The point is that today is the husband’s 31st birthday, and in honor of it, I’ve decided to write a Pros and Cons list about him.

I realize it might be slightly late in the game to be analyzing what the guy’s got going for him, but I think I can craft a significantly more accurate depiction of this gentleman, having spent the last 11 years with him.

So here we go.

The Pros and Cons of this Mac Guy:

(if you click on this image you can get a larger version…)

And so, there you have it. Guess the pros outnumber the cons, though as you can see, it was a bit of a close call.

So I guess I’ll keep him.

Happy birthday, Mac.

You’re pretty much my favorite.

8 Comments | Posted in cohabitating with a man. | October 13, 2012
  • carlisle

    this is so cute. D:
    I feel like I should do it for my husband. but maybe when he comes back from boot camp, so he’s not focused on the cons. because he’s sensitive like that, and it really might upset him. D:

  • Taylor

    I love this! I just got mad at Matt last night for not using the windshield wipers! I love your blog.

  • Bob

    You have a gem! BTW Fart jokes and anything fart related is truly funny.

  • Shan

    Love this. Happy birthday , Mac!

  • Brandon

    This is very sweet. It also makes me want to hang out with you guys again.

  • Leah

    I just want to say that “thinking most men want to have sex with you” could technically come up in the “Pros” column if it is exhibited in the “you are so sexy and awesome “way and not in the “I’m gonna smash that a-hole’s window” way.

  • amy

    This made me smile so big my kids think I’ve lost it. I am new to your writing and I love it. Thank you for saying so much of what I am thinking. You remind me of my hero, Anne Lamott. A northern California girl, too. I am a southern California girl (La Jolla, and no, we weren’t rich, my folks just got lucky with a rental) who got moved by her family way too young to the southeast of the U.S. Currently living, and biting my tongue so often it’s ragged, in the conservative town of Sanford, NC. Pissing off my neighbors with my “what would buddha do?” sticker. Getting the finger for my peace symbol by some of our military friends from Ft. Bragg. But it’s a good town for my kids, I have found a circle of like-minded souls, and I’m making it work. Thank you for writing what you write. You inspire me.

  • Ashlie

    Okay, so I wanted to do some catch up and I came across this and MAN, this makes me feel better about my own marriage/life. Why? Because Daniel does a lot of the same shit that Mac does. Things that drive me absolutely batshit and make me think “Real people don’t live like this! Why do I love him so much despite it all?!?” Because really, I see these couples where the guy is well kempt and extremely helpful with the kids and I’m like, “What happened to mine to make him this way?” Showers and non-hobo clothes are awesome and he doesn’t seem to understand that. Cereal is not a balanced meal for children. The girls falling asleep in our bed when I’m out for a bit means that he’s NOT going to get laid when I get home. And sometimes I think I’d want to trade him in. But maybe with a well groomed guy would come judgment when I’m not looking my best. Maybe with a husband who cooks a three course meal for his kids would leave little time for pillow forts and wrestling with them. Maybe having him waiting on me in the bed every time I’m out would come possessiveness and expectations of sex when I DON’T want to do it. So I guess I just have to weigh it all. And at the end of the day, I’ll keep him. Armpit stank and dirty dishes on the coffee table be damned.