What I learned this week…gum, checkpoints, new year?

by Janelle Hanchett


  1. A few days ago in a coffee shop, while waiting for my 12 shot latte, I glanced down at the table next to me and noticed a young woman sitting there with her gum stuck onto the rim of her coffee cup, presumably saving it for later. Her companion must have been delighted to look at that throughout their conversation.
  2. There are not many absolutes in the world, but I’m pretty sure the above-mentioned behavior is just not right, no matter what, in any context for any reason. It’s a fucking piece of gum. Get a new one when you’re done with your coffee.
  3. On Friday night Mac and I celebrated our 10th anniversary with a mini-vacation to Santa Cruz, just the two of us.
  4. We could have just sat there staring at each other all night, doing nothing, eating nothing, saying nothing, and it would have been more fun than I’ve had all year – simply because, yes, that’s right: NO OFFSPRING.
  5. But as an added bonus, we didn’t just sit there. We went to dinner, where we had a real conversation and sat in our chairs the whole time (rather than circling the restaurant in pursuit of a riotous toddler), AND somehow managed to proceed through our meal with no arguments or squealing regarding who gets to sit where and whether or not they can have lemonade.
  6. Kids are annoying.
  7. Anyhoo, we saw one of our favorite bands (The Devil Makes Three) at The Catalyst, which is this super popular bar/concert hall in downtown Santa Cruz. To be honest, the show wasn’t the best we’d ever seen, HOWEVER, one of my dreams came true on the way home from that show.
  8. You think I’m going to say something about Brad Pitt or the lottery or Bob Dylan, don’t you? No. Much cooler than that, people.
  9. I went through a sobriety checkpoint, SOBER. I’m not going to tell you how excited I was when I saw it coming, how fun it was to tell the officer  “a bar” in response to his question “where are you coming from” and yet know I was sober as a, um, I don’t know, something sober…a Mormon? A monk? And I got to whip out my license all confident and shit and chat with the officer like a respectable member of society. There was a time not that long ago when a sobriety checkpoint would have seriously altered the course of my life. I’m not proud of this, just glad I’m not still there, doing stupid things that threaten my life and others’ lives and put me on the outskirts of society, in the place where the fuck-ups dwell.
  10. Speaking of new places, happy freaking New Year. It’s 2012. I guess that should mean something to me, but it pretty much doesn’t. It’s another year. It will be good and it will suck but it won’t be that bad, guaranteed (see number 9), and I’ll keep trudgin’ along with this family I love who completes me and infuriates me, and maybe I’ll reach some goals, maybe I’ll be offered some kick-ass writing or teaching job somewhere, maybe I’ll lose some pounds – but mostly I’ll just be me, living, just like every other year, whatever that entails. I don’t get particularly excited about the New Year, nor particularly nostalgic about the past one. I am, however, fucking stoked the holidays are over.

That said, I’m glad I’m here. And you, I’m glad you’re here.

Tomorrow I’ll be writing my list of resolutions. I believe I’m going to call them “Slacker Resolutions 2012.”

There’s something to look forward to in addition to what is obviously going to be the best year of our lives. Ha.

5 Comments | Posted in weeks of mayhem | January 1, 2012
  • Shan

    Love when everything (or, you know… life) comes together.

  • kim

    I love #9. The ONE time Todd called me to pick him up after he’d been drinking (but only because he lost his keys) I got pulled over after swerving to miss a damn cat in the road. The officer asked if I’d been drinking, and I was quick to point out NO, JUST THIS JACKASS NEXT TO ME. He let me go immediately.

    I can’t wait to read all about your slacker resolutions. Sounds perfect.

  • Michael Ann

    Awesome that you and hubby got some time alone. That is so important. Kids do cramp your style! I feel the same about the New Year.

  • Kateri Von Steal

    Childless Interactions? An Adult Dinner?


    Holding out for the Slacker Resolutions!

  • Marisa

    I can’t remember the last time we had dinner out alone.

    Looking forward to your Slacker Resolutions. I might want to adopt some of them, as I haven’t even thought of any.